The greatness of her love

The greatness of her love
She wheeled him into his room at the hospital after giving him a shower. She walked with drenched clothes, but giggled at the thought that the shower nozzle slipped from her hands. She was exhausted, and her body was sore, lifting her husbands leg was too much of an effort considering it was nothing but dead weight. She hardly thought of the times before his spinal cord injury only because she couldn’t remember how life was then. He on the other hand was constantly worried about her, he hated that she took care of him so much and dedicated her time, effort and strength to make him comfortable but whenever he asked why she did it she would always reply “because i love you”. Not once did she complain of how tired she was, she was always in smiles and it seemed like what she did had no effect on her she always said “im the luckiest woman in the world”
I always loved seeing them at the hospital, the amount of love they had for each other. His helplessness and her dedication, it makes you wonder how far one will go. He couldn’t move at all on his own, she was his arms and legs. He was smitten by her love an she was dedicated, working full time and taking care of him. Through the months he started to get better, he gained back sensation and movement in his arms and took his time to work on his upper body, and if you ever asked him he would say, “i do this so she doesn’t have to”. Though he would never walk again, he was determined to be independant with the limbs he had.......
I just wanted to share this story, and give her some sort of recognition, not just her but all women that go through the same thing.

Women shouldn't work...the antidote perspective

This may be the most controversial, and yes maybe sexist thing that Ive ever mentioned publicly, but I truly believe that as a woman I shouldn't work a day in my life.


Well this thought came to me while I woke up at 5 am for my placement at the hospital sometime ago. First thing I noticed were the bags under my eyes, my pale dehydrated tired looking skin, and I thought to myself, what on earth am I doing to myself. I got dressed and left my sleeping family in bed while I "the woman" went to work.....
Hours later I came back exhausted and zombie like, started cleaning doing laundry, time passed next thing you know my alarm clock rings an the cycle continues.......

A mans life

He wakes up, goes to school or work, comes back exhausted and zombie like, his meal is set for him (on average), he goes to bed at his own free will and does as he pleases at this point. He is not required to do housework or extra chores but he is pitied for coming home "exhausted" and we the females are asked to "leave him alone"........well what about me or girls like me, why can't exhaustion be in our dictionary..

So I thought, why not just cut some things out of the equation, like working. For now its just a back up plan but I don't think I ever intend to bother myself with work or anything that will break my nails.

AAHHH what a life that will be

need me an adventure

Asalaamu alaikum errr one

Ok so alot of people have asked me about the journey through the 10 days and why I havent finished documenting the rest of the days. Alhamdulilah we prayed all the days but because of a death in the family I temporarily lost interest in blogging about it. Those last few days are a bit personal so I'll keep it as that.

so back to my I want to go paragliding and ziplining, an sky diving an all that fun stuff, but a) I can never find a group of people brave enough to go adventure seeking with me, and b) everything costs a hell of alot of money. Why does it have to cost money to jump, off a plane, jumping is free, why can't I just rent the equipment and be on my way. I'm sure I can find some online tutorials of how to bend my legs while I'm in the air. I want to go to china an be dared to eat fried bugs and worms and throw up and laugh about it later on. Or go to a rainforest and....i dont know what I would do there but it seems interesting. Or go to an african village an just dance with the tribal leaders an paint my face like a tribal warrior. I have dreams of throwing my self off a mountain and diving into a waterfall which also happens to be on my bucketlist, I feel that I have no time to do it all while I'm still young. For a 23 year old with excrutiating random back pains my time is ticking.....HELPPPP MEEEEE!!!!!

Journey with us through the last ten days

Day 6-Tariq x2

I know we already went to Tariq but we wanted to repeat it again. One thing I'd like to say is that its not easy for someone to pick up a load of girls that are scattered across toronto, for the sake of performing Tahajjud at a masjid. May Allah (swt) reward my dear friend Hiba who took the responsibility upon herself (Ameen). I'd also like to mention that since Ramadan is coming to an end, I pray that the rest of the year feels exactly like this ramadan. InshAllah we have gained enough strength from this month to be protected against the shaytan once theyve been unchained. Tomorrow will be an odd day so we should take the time to make dua for those that are in a struggle. When we are consumed in the prayer of others, the angels make duaa for us, so inshAllah we should take advantage of that.

Journey with us through the last ten days

Day 5-Darul Hijrah

So again we didnt go to the masjid we had planned on going, this seems to be a routine lol, but it wasn't written for us to go. It was meant for us to make Darul hijrah number 5 and of course we embraced it. The reciter had an amazing voice MashAllah, however we were all disappointed he went really fast. I felt rushed, but khayr, we used the rest of the time to sit in our corners making duaa, and went to the car an played a recording of a duaa (Hiba's girl). So far the experience is great, it set a trigger on me an on all of us. We seem different, closer, our bond seems stronger then before. Unfortunately no pics again and with very good reason. The place looks like a warehouse, an I'd rather you all imagine how it looked like anyways....InshAllah if god wills Abu Hurairah will be the next masjid.....INSHALLAH!!!

Journey with us through the last ten days

Day 4- IMO/Malton Masjid

Day 4 only included Hiba, my sister and I, so we decided to make the most of it and head to Malton Masjid on Dairy rd. After recieving so much positive feedback regarding this masjid, we were only too excited to check it out. Pulling up infront of the masjid we were in awe, and my reflex reaction pulled out the camera and....NO FLASH!!. We could not get a decent picture, considering it was too dark, and unusually empty. The parking lot had only one car, and we were all confuzzled about it. Like in all scary movies we got out of the car one by one an decided to check it out. We watched in horror a small group of men getting ready to pray....we turn our heads around WHERE ARE THE WOMEN!?!?!. The masjid was completely empty, and only about 5 brothers (May their prayers be answered ameen) were in it. We were too shy an nervous to pray behind them, so we left in disappointment to the nearest masjid which happened to be IMO. It was not on the list but alhamdulilah it was still great. The experience is still the same in my eyes. We all make the same duas, and we all wish for the same things. This experience is not just about "masjid hopping" but about loving all masjids equally. They all have the same concept, and it is a place of worship. These buildings welcome all walks of life, and it is something to appreciate. May Allah (swt) reward those who run these masjids for us to pray in, and may they be amongst those who are under his shade on that day AMEEN.

Journey with us through the last ten days

Day 3-Isna Allahuma innaka afuwan, tuhibul afwa, fa'fu anee!!!

Isna is such a beautiful masjid mashAllah, I had moments where I wanted to say forget this 10 day nonsense I want to come back here. The recitor's voice was beyond amazing mashAllah, there was just something about this day that was so perfect..perhaps it was Laylatul Qadr....or not, but regardless InshAllah all my prayers are accepted. I have nothing more to say, but let the pictures speak for itself.

Isna was our top 5 masjids, but I regret not making it the last masjid to pray in. There are some masjids we would like to repeat, isna an ar rowda made the far that is

This is the wudhoo area, how gorgeous is this

This shot was the hardest to take, only because the males were still in the mussala area, and they assumed we were being so bold as to take pics of our potentials husbands LOOL....we only wanted this shot I SWEAR IT

I thank my sister for this shot, once you enter a masjid you need a brave person to take the shots, because noone wants to look like the crazy tourist eheheh

As you may have noticed no tim horton pics, my cam died an I'm too lazy to charge it. We had donuts, cheese croissants milkshakes, ice caps, tea and a peach fizzy drink....HMMMMHMMHMM you can just imagine it until I put up the pics of that

Journey with us through the last 10 days

Day 2- Tariq Masjid

We ran through some techinical difficulties today, ok maybe not some, infact we missed all of Tahajjud salaah because someone fell asleep on the couch (I'm not pointing fingers...HIBA !). However we still wanted to continue an atleast make it for fajr salaah. We got drunk on caffeine an headed towards the beautiful Tariq Masjid.

We got some cool shots while noone was looking, an the few that did see us thought we were tourists hehehe if only they knew...

Waiting for fajr salaah.....yawn!!

My all time favorite shot......dont we look sooo peaceful!!!

Tim never disappoints, this brother has potential!!

Journey with us through the last 10 days at 10 different Masjids

Day 1-Masjid Ar-Rowda (pardon the cheesy blog title)

So a few friends and I thought it would be a cool idea, if we prayed tahajud at 10 different masjids. We were extremely excited to make Ar-Rowda the first one. After stuffing ourselves with food and large amounts of caffeine, we hit the road towards Weston and Lawrence and parked right infront of an empty church (we snickered at this moment). Asma, Hiba, Siham and I had an extremely blessed night praying at this masjid, though we encountered some troubles when it came to suhoor at Tim Hortons, (I am not at Liberty to expose publicly) ..... it was still an amazing night.

Hiba and Asma entering the masjid

We seriously give it up to Tim Hortons... Tim you truly are the love of our lives, though you disappointed me an didnt give me my cup of water, though I'm sure we can negotiate some type of compromise......

Wash your mouth with soap

I think its time we invest in a product that washes the filth in our mouths, because our speech has become so dirty. It's gotten to the point where children are starting to immitate our disgusting dialect and behave in an adult like manner.

wash your mouths with soap
your breath reaks of deragatory terms an
body parts that shouldnt be your concern.
Keep private things that god made private,
be modest and dont descrbe whats hidden in your clothes,
profanity is the language of the fool
and believe me you don't wanna be that fool
That uneducated foul-mouthed fool
who flaunts their stupidity with cursed words type fool
and if your a child remain one
and speak in the dialect of mannerisms
Aint no rush to grow old, stick to your cartoons
Fun dont stay forever cuz that will go too
we may be moving forward too soon
but I don't mind going old school
when it comes to discipline and corporal punishment
To keep my kids in check with their thank you's
and not their F you's
Whats with the inhabitants of todays land
we've lost the voice to speak like the speech of great men
like malcom x, and even our prophets
whom embraced kind words
and spread it with open hands
but its cool , cause thats what were used to
Weve been placed in low ranks
an we'll stay there too
My mouth is dirty can someone pass me the soap
so I can clean out the stench of derogatory terms

Not yet titled

This is for everyone that's been stricken with grief or bad news....Allah has a plan for you, the greatest reward comes to those with patience, so bear with it an bite your tongue, make duaa an say Alhamdulilah

For the smile that lights up a thousand lanterns

To beauty that is too radiant I have to peak

Nay you are not beautiful shame on my words

The word should not define you

You define the word

One should be envious of your blessing

One should be envious of your essence

I should be envious, I should

I should be envious, I should

Such blessings I do not deserve

I would dress in dirty rags

Just to see you clothed in gold

A tear you drop distorts the image

A frown cracks the glow of your visage

A slouch mutates your gracious gait

An your grief will grant me sadness for days

One should be envious of your blessing

One should be envious of your essence

I should be envious, I should

I should be envious, I should

You have been blessed by the only divine

Take this time to thank him but do not cry

He tests only those whom he loves

You were chosen amongst many

Be patient for surely you are who he loves

One should be envious of your blessing

who wouldnt be envious of your essence

for I should be envious I should

I should be envious I should

A Muslim Woman

I am a Muslim Woman
I am not an alien, and no black is not my favorite color, (though I find it flattering against my complexion and you instantly lose 10 inches off your waist!!!)
I am not bald, but I have an excuse to have a bad hair day.
I am not hot under my scarf, its 2010 if you havent heard already we have built in ac's up in here.
I can hear very well, it just so happens my scarf is a fabric not a wall that impairs my hearing.
I am not illiterate, I can speak english very well and sadly better than my first language.
I am not weak, I knocked out a ufc fighter with my bare hands literally!!!
I am not oppressed I practice my deen out of my own free will
I find it strange when I hear people say things like "go back to your country" ummm, I'm canadian.....
I am not married to a Muhammad that I've never seen before, infact I'm not married and don't plan to be in a forced marriage.......thats not normal
I may look strange with all these layers, but hey atleast I wont get sunburn
I wear the scarf because I love it.
I am a Muslim Woman,
I love chocolate, candies and all things sweet, I love books poetry all things real, I love food, knowledge all things human and I love peace, tranquility....all things ISLAM

feminine jealousy

Pablo Neruda makes my knees weak...there I said it!!!!. His 100 love sonnets are about the same woman, that is just incredible. I would have loved to be that woman for that one day. My tears of joy would have turned into 100 days of mourning, and I in turn wouldve written 100 sonnets on Pablo's 100 sonnets an how I felt with each sonnet I read....Pablo thats a whole lotta love!!
Damn you Matilde (which was the woman he wrote the sonnets for <3 )

thought provoking

So lately Ive been feeling like I havent really accomplished anything. The book ive been "writing" is still untitled an my dreams of being on oprah promoting my work is still.....a dream. I thought for quite sometime now that I was a "nothing", you know those people that have no talent, nothing to offer to society and I call these people the "takers". Being a taker I felt kind of down for a very long time, I wanted to be someone, I wanted to be important, I wanted to be like sophie kinsella, or yasmina khadra. I want to be an author, and I know that a few chapters of an untitled book wont make me an author but even I have dreams. I figured of all the authors trying to make it big, of the thousands of writers working towards their dreams, why am I so special? Well sadly I am not special, and maybe not as good as the other writers out there. I realized being a taker is not so bad, sometimes to be a writer you need an audience to appreciate talent an work and that to me is just as important. A writer is nothing without its readers. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even if my dreams don't work out, I'm playing a major part in making other dreams come true. If we all made it, who would be our critics when everyone is too busy competing with each other. One day if InshAllah it happens then alhamdulilah an if not then good luck to all the other writers out there.

p.s I still want to be on oprah


avid reader

Congrats to all

Tis a time of happiness and joy and this is a message to all that have or are beginning a new phase in their lives.....

To all the new mothers, fathers, and expecting parents. To the newly weds and soon to be couples. To those who have just stepped out of highschool an those who have just ended the long an treacherous journey of postsecondary. To those who have seen their loved ones after a long period of time, and those who have packed their bags an have moved into islamic grounds. To those who have finally decided to make a dream come true an to those whose dreams have already come true.

May you all take advantage of this joyous occasion and thank Allah (swt) upon recieving such a blessing.

When he (the Prophet) (pbuh) used to receive pleasant news, he (pbuh) would say:

‘All Praise is for Allaah by whose favour good works are accomplished.’

الْحَمْـدُ للهِ الَّذي بِنِـعْمَتِهِ تَتِـمُّ الصّـالِحات

Al hamdu li-l-lâhi l-ladhî bi-nicmatihi tatimmu s-sâlihâtu.


Ive built an enemy line between the mosquito and I, this is beyond war, this is hatred to a new level!!!

My dear bloodsuckers, what have I ever done to you, please spare me the grief and humility of scratching in places I dare not scratch in public. Im aware of the sweetness of my blood but Ive been told the blood of a swine is far sweeter than mine. O mosquito's I beg of thee to leave me in peace, leave me in my tranquil state of non itching. I bid thee farewell, for these scratches will leave scars and I will be forced to remember you always, this is a promise I have no choice but to keep. This wound that you leave behind will forever be a part of me, an will remain a memory of what wouldve been a beautiful day until a mosquito bit me......

good day now

*scratches on out of blogspot*

unrealistic expectations

Here I am as emotional as ever an the topic for today is UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.
Of course everything I talk about in here is from personal experience, nothing too specific but pretty general in a sense that I the blogger also have the right to keep some things private.

I think that going into relationships people have expectations about the other that is just extremely unrealistic. By relationships I don't mean the western term of boyfriend and girlfriend, but I mean someone looking for marriage. In most cases I find the men always have ridiculous requirements in there list that are at times unnecessary. I feel that if you wish for an educated person in your life, you should be educated yourself, or if you wish for a women to be fit an attractive the other person must be trying their best to be healthy as well. I do understand that we shouldnt settle for less but how can you ask for someone so great when you yourself are not doing the part to fit that criteria. When did people stop being so real?

Everyone an everything seem so plastic, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I miss moments where one is praised for just being simple.




How creepy was that, an earthquake in southern ontario, I never thought I'd live to see the day. Today surprisingly my motherly instincts kicked in when I felt my bed shaking, my initial reaction was "hmmmm this doesnt feel right" an after reading all the bbm updates on my phone (thanks guys) I realized it was an earth quake. AAAAHHH!!! now where is my little sister, is she alive, is she dead, how come noone is at my house. Maybe their stuck in the basement somewhere or maybe something fell on my family an their out there hopefully straining to keep their last breaths....In those few minutes of confusion I felt the world shake again...metaphorically that is, until that thought bubble was popped when the door opened an it was my dear old dad. Carrying a tray full of ice caps an a smile on his face my dad screeched in an excited tone "did you feel the earth quake!!"

well yes baba...yes I did

Relieved, an Loving my family *sigh*

God works in mysterious ways

Sometimes as humans we never appreciate what we have. When its within reach its invisible and when its out of reach it suddenly becomes the most valuable thing ever. Now I dont mean to be vague but this concept can be associated with anything. When its gone we crave for it, but we never stop to think why it was taken from us to begin with. We don't stop and say Alhamdulilah but we complain until it comes back only to realize that when it does return we get it on a silver platter. This is the blessing of Allah (swt) and when I say "we" I mostly mean myself. I realized if I didnt have such a negative connotation towards these things, and actually sat down and thought of the severity of my actions I would be more patient. The funny thing about all this is that no matter how many times I'm reminded (by my mother) I never learn my lesson, I react first and understand later. Now I hope my patience does increase because I do believe its a virtue. Because all the things that I had lost were only replaced with better things, and if I had known this earlier maybe I wouldve stopped myself from crying to begin with.

Enlightened (Hope I spelled that right)


The english language seems to be evolving and the bad part is I feel like I don't understand people any more. New words are being created that I can't seem to find in the oxford dictionary. The other day someone asked me if I was straight and the only response I could give was "I'm not gay". My friend laughed and responded with "no silly I mean are you good, do you got loochie?". To avoid any further embarrassment I smiled and nodded my head. I don't like slang, its not english. If I was so concerned with learning another language I would dedicate my time to learning my own somali language again (which I happen to suck at). Is slang supposed to be cool, because you found a shorter way to pronounce a long word, doesnt that just make a person lazy. We should either get these words in the dictionary or stop making stuff up. And no urban dictionary is not a dictionary. I would be grateful if someone politely asked "how are you?" instead of a "whats cracking" thats confusing because, I havent cracked anything *looks around to see if something was stepped on*

p.s I put the pic up only because I thought it was cool.

to a special friend

So a good friend of mine told me she was getting married, and instead of congratulating her....I got teary eyed. I mean yaaayyy she's getting married, I'm more than happy for her, but its the thought of her leaving that frustrates me. Change is something that is so hard to deal with. Ive written about it before being used to something, or someone in your life. You expect things to be there forever, you expect people to always be there. I expected her to always be there. Raising our kids together, and forcing them to be friends even if they didnt like each other. You dream of things that are unlikely but probable but you continue dreaming because the possibility is still there. As selfish as this sounds, I never wanted her gone, not that far away. Because those foolish dreams, as unrealistic as it sounds, may never come true now.

My favorite homie in the whole wide world, the original heart throb of toronto, this post is dedicated to you. So you know how much youve influenced my life. Ive always been told to choose my friends wisely, they may take you to paradise, well mama I have chosen wisely. I can say from the bottom of my heart that you've taught me nothing but good, on the deen, on school and just life in general. You taught me confidence and convinced me that I'm beautiful exactly the way I am. Of all the happiness, joy an laughter that exists in this world, may you be showered with plenty of it. Remember your friends *wink wink* were still here, and I'm always there for you.

Love you always

Epitome of Beauty

A journey has begun with the battle of the mind and heart
did love really exist, should it be ranked amongst the many Ive been with
Its seems these writings are an obligation upon me
to write about the epitome of beauty and sincerity
it does exist because I lay here writing about this
writing about the truth and what I've experienced
no need for anger just acceptance of what has come
You see this poem is a must for people to know the reality
of what is and what was
and what type of men an women exist beyond what we know
I've met goodness in the flesh
and touched my dreams with a sweet caress
his first words were "you are beautiful"
and my reply was "how so?"
in a daze it blew me away,
what Ive always known through readings came before me
So I write this, a poem or something like it
to tell the world I too have seen it
They should know the myth
that love truly exists, and I peered into his eyes
an his into mine an we were then known as "us"
we were known as one, together we were love


Certified Insanity

When the brains reason conflicts with the hearts emotions

It triggers a wave that i wish i never set in motion

And my heart refuses to settle with my minds resolve

Uneasiness envelopes me

My hand ready to dial that number that ends with three

Saying SORRY, i'm tired of me and you, Can we just go back to WE?

If i'm right then why do i feel so wrong

And although at first i remained strong

i dwindled inside myself, wishing the day wasn't as long

With puffy eyes and tainted heart

I question myself over and over, how did we fall apart?

As i lay in bed, and the sight of food repels me

I take comfort in the ticking of the clock

Im still here i'm reassured as i wait for the next tock


So its been awhile since I last posted I know, I just did not have much to say. Well no I'm lieing I had alot to say but who really has the time to write on blogs nowadays. My clock has more than 24 hours, I consider it to be 36 hours. That being said I feel like venting today an the thing I want to vent about is women. I think I should justify the attitudes of women around the world because we do have valid reasons as to why we are so crazy. Lets dig a little deeper shall we. We all know that women speak a different language, if you don't know by now that "no" means "yes", and "I don't know: truly means "I know" then your the one in the different planet buddy. Its such a simple language and we are not so hard to please, buy us something nice maybe a little jewellery and we'll smile throughout the day. You want us to stop nagging well then say something sweet, preferrably off a shakespear play (depending on how lucky you are). And if you don't think the sweet things are the truth well then say it anyways, lieing is never good but lieing to a women will get you places. Fellas that use these tactics are smart an know what their doing so moral of the day........

buy things, read shakespear and lie...


Dear Words

I apologize for abandoning you. I do wish i could visit you more often. The problem lies with my inability to write consistently. I'm an emotional writer, and well i'm not always emotionally. Perhaps you feel a bit used, or unappreciated.. And i dont blame you because i use you... I use you when i'm happy, when i'm upset, when i'm disheartened, and when i'm bored..But most often i'm very indifferent... lol.. Anyway the reason i write to you today is because well (yes you guessed it) i'm emotional.. But here is the thing. Although my emotions have brought me to you, id like to mention i dont plan on abandoning you again. Well at least those are my intentions.. And i know actions speak louder than words.. So i hope to prove you wrong in your doubt..

With Love
A writer