Do you notice my eyebrows?

Asalaamu alaikum!

So Eid Mubarak folks, or happy belated Eid. Its the year 2015 and I call this the year of the eyebrows. Now to all you fashionistas out there that are reading this and thinking, eyebrows have always been an important part of beauty for centuries!  for me tragically I am a bit behind and I have begun to notice the severity of unkept eyebrows recently....let me explain.

Now before I begin I will admit that I do not do my eyebrows, to some this may be a fashion crime but frankly I do not care for how my eyebrows look. In fact I like them exactly how they are and I have never felt the need to get them done. I went to the salon a few days before eid and before I can even say what I wanted the hairstylist looked at me, then my eyebrows and said "eyebrows are $3".
The audacity of the women to offend and humiliate my eyebrows and the worst part of it all was my response, "I'm not here to do my eyebrows". Now normally one would assume, after a few sympathetic stares and fake apologies the scene would be over
The hairstylist continued her save world hunger one eyebrow at a time rant by stating "its eid no, you have to do your eyebrows, how are you gonna celebrate eid with eyebrows like that". I for one was not informed that my eyebrows forbade me from celebrating eid, had I known earlier I would've quarantined myself...I would like to apologize for those that I have offended by exposing my eyebrows......have I learned my lesson..... sadly no.....

The sad reality of happiness

Asalaamu alaikum!

Life is the most interesting journey anyone can be on, and we are all travelling in the same destination, just with different paths. We all want exactly the same thing but do different things to attain it...HAPPINESS. The thing with this concept is that it takes a bunch of concepts to make it complete. Things like, anger, frustration, stress, and most importantly sadness. How can one truly understand the meaning of any of these words without experiencing them all in its entirety. Why do we prefer to avoid the negative aspects of happiness when we truly need it to understand its worth?.

Happiness can come and go, and be replaced with sorrow and despair within seconds. One thing I realized is that it can't be avoided, its part of the journey. There is no escape when it comes to this, all you can do is just brace yourself, make duaa and continue on your path.

Self destruction

Asalaamu alaikum!

As a female I am naturally prone to being emotional I must admit, I am not ashamed because that just makes me human and not a robot. However at times its our thoughts that lead to our self destruction. The what ifs, and maybe's we repeat in our minds can ruin us. I can be put in a situation and right away, my thoughts run with me and from there I make terrible decisions. I guess my question is, how patient can one really be?. If I had someone moderating my decisions would they still be mistakes?.

The advice I usually give out is "make duaa and be patient" (not that I am qualified to be giving out advice), however that is a lot harder than it seems. Impatience is a demon that dwells within me, and as hard as I try to control it the chains seem to be getting loose as the days go on.  Ramadan is approaching and at the right time, so hopefully this changes things or something. The goal is to increase my imaan and gain a stronger grip on my deen.

Am I Beautiful?

Asalaamu alaikum!

Standards of beauty change everyday, once upon a time skinny was the trend and woman would go under the knife to have fat removed. Now its the complete opposite, instead of having fat removed, fat or silicones are surgically implanted to create the curvy figure. As a woman I often follow certain trends to "keep up" so I'm not left behind. As a hijabi, it becomes difficult but its something I still be beautiful. This is not out of insecurity or low self esteem, but beauty is something we all seek subconsciously. What is beauty exactly?, what is this thing we look for when we look in the mirror, because we are looking for something specific....I just haven't figured out what it is. Well I want to share a story that gave me a new perspective, through the eyes of a senile woman......

Being a nurse can be redundant or feel like routine for awhile then all of a sudden switch and you panic. This day, was more of a routine day, quiet and nothing out of the ordinary. Normally while I push the medcart around I have this one lady follow me with a baby doll telling me stories of her home and how she misses it. Everyday she would tell me how beautiful she thought I was, and how perfect I looked. I was flattered for the most part, but considering she had bad eyesight I never thought much of it. She couldn't really see my features properly, I'm sure I was just a blur and at times I questioned if she understood the cloth on my head was not my hair. She would always tell me I shouldn't be working so much and I should preserve this "beauty" of mine, and still I thought nothing of it. One day, she didn't follow me around, it was a bit unusual for me not to have my walking buddy but because she had dementia, I took it as she must've forgotten today. I went to her room to check up on her, she was on her chair rocking the baby doll and lulling it to sleep. She looked up at me and says "Hey I remember you, you're that beautiful young girl", I giggled and asked "what makes me so beautiful and different from you?" and this was her response......

"you have all your teeth", she said as she showed me her toothless grin. "Your limbs and joints move properly" she said as she struggled to bend her knees up. "You can breathe without it being painful", she said as her voice quaked. "You can see me and I struggle to see you, but I see that you are beautiful" she said while rocking her baby doll "You look like how you are supposed to look like" she said at last, "thats why you are so beautiful".

After a few weeks she started to deteriorate and had forgotten me completely. I wanted her to remember me, to remember my name, and I would try to tell her things to trigger something.....but nothing happened. One day I decide to change her name to beautiful, and she responded with, "you are the beautiful one, you have all your teeth!".

Experience is an asset

Asalaamu alaikum!

It took me about 40 minutes to go to my job interview, the traffic was terrible but I stayed optimistic, I looked great I felt great nothing could get in my way. I Arrived at my interview 10 minutes early, my hijab on point, with an extra pin stuck inside my purse…I was just PREPARED. The interviewer was a bit late, but I was still pretty patient, I already had a good first impression and that was punctuality. Now usually with whats going on in the news I should've been nervous considering I wear my religion on my head, but I wasn't. My identity was my winning factor, I was a minority, and considering there weren't any muslims at first glance, I figured they needed me…for diversity and because I'm just awesome.

So the interviewer arrives eventually, apologizes for her lateness and we begin. The questions were straight forward, nothing unusual. She asks me what I would change in the hiring process to help nurses or other medical professionals and my response was "Everyone deserves a chance and experience shouldn't be the deciding factor, everyone has had a beginning at one point." I felt strongly about my statement, a few questions later the interview ends she thanks me for coming and says expect to hear from her in a weeks time.

A week later I find out she hired someone else with…. MORE EXPERIENCE. Now considering how the interview went I figured I was probably a default interview and they must've already chose someone to fill quota. However did she not hear what I said!!!!, just because I have no experience does that make me flawed?. I drove to another city for a 15 minute interview, does that not show dedication……

Anywho, to potential employers if you are reading this….. You were once unexperienced, it happens, Get over it!!

that is all.

what is common sense?

Asalaamu alaikum!

Common sense is not so common at times. Often we try to make the smartest decisions but it ends up being the most dumbest one. After the mistake has been done we start to wonder, "what the hell was I thinking?".  I pretty much had this moment yesterday over a craigslist ad. Its too soon to speak about because I'm still emotional about it but…. What the hell was I thinking?!

Why am I not married yet?

Asalaamu alaikum!

I know I've taken a very long hiatus, but I'm back now and this time for good (hopefully).

It took me years to understand the answer to this question and I'm sure a lot of females from my cultural background or one similar know what I mean. Its not easy growing up with traditional parents and relatives who believe a females only purpose is to be a house wife. For years I have struggled and fought to stand up for myself. I wanted a career, I wanted to be educated, though I kept an open mind about the suitors that came. However each time I fought I was brought back down. I had no one to talk to. I started believing the traditional ways and the goals that I had achieved meant absolutely nothing. You see in the eyes of my family…… my career meant "distraction". From the other females I have spoken to I realized they didn't have anyone to talk to as well. I wanted to address this issue here.

My parents started believing I was avoiding marriage when in fact it just hasn't happened yet. There is no real reason as to why I am not married, I'm just not…simple as that. When things don't work out, its because they weren't meant to work out. I have never questioned the will of Allah (swt), it just wasn't written.

So to all you foreigners that are going through what I went through. Don't question or doubt yourself. If it hasn't happened yet that doesn't mean you lack beauty or charm. All it means is that it was written that way. It will come, just stop stressing and continue living life……that is all.