The antidote

ugh....said with emphasis!!

2011-11-13T23:38:00.000-08:00

To do or not to do.......... you know that feeling when you want to do something, but you're not sure if it should be done, or if it is the right time....yea I get those days alot. The problem here is that I never know when the right time is. If I have a thought in my head, I would want to say it before I forget, and as logical as that may sound apparently "there is a time and place for everything", well I get that, but when exactly is that time and who decides this if not me. Who determines the things that should be censored from our thoughts, and what if the wrong things are censored. I mean I have alot of thoughts alot,things I wish to do and say but I guess the problem with me is that I just don't know how and more importantly WHEN.

Trapped in a parallel dimension

2011-11-09T16:37:00.001-08:00

I feel like I'm trapped in the virtual world, and I don't have the comfort of talking to someone face to face. This new trend that I am being sucked into seems to be changing my personality. I think I have become quite shy infront of people, because I forgot how to act around others, since most of my conversations are done over the phone or online.

This virtual world makes me more conscious (hope that is spelled correctly) of how I look when I do eventually go outside, since I am not used to showing people more than one dimension of my face. So its fair to say I only show people one side, which is a good side also at an angle that may distort or add features to my face that I may not exactly have. So yes, I am decieving people with the pictures that I put up because I want to look pretty all the time.

For instance, if I do want to meet someone that I havent met in years, I'm afraid they may not recognize me from my pictures, because quite frankly, I just don't look like that. I don't wake up to flawless skin, thats why they have photoshop!!!

All in all, I have become a hermit in my room, an I guess I long for something real, something as simple as a conversation, a touch, a hug, a real life smile. So you PINGS!!! and nudges and pokes, I no longer need you.....

*turns off computer and goes outside*

erm.... I forgot my jacket, I say good day *slams door dramatically behind*

If I were in KSA

2011-11-08T23:06:00.000-08:00

Being raised in Toronto Canada, I have adapted a torontonian personality, which may be different from others, but I guess we are all the same or are based under similar concepts. If I stayed in KSA, my birth place, would that make me a different person, Considering an environment creates ones personality, and even life experiences, its only fair to say the environment and experiences one can get in KSA is extremely different. I wonder if I wouldve been different, or grew up to be the same person, Would I be an introvert or an extrovert, or in between......

Would I fall for the same type of people, or would I have the same views on love that I have now. Would I be more religious or less educated.......... If I lived in KSA, that would mean I would still be living with my grandma, I can only wonder if I would be going to school, or spend my time at home.

I think of weird things, an these thoughts, aka elevator thoughts, consume my mind on a daily. But this is just KSA, we can look into somalia. I grew up not knowing about tribes and the sects in africa, however I'm sure if I was raised in somalia I'd be a qabeelist, or would I?

Or would I still be raised as the clueless person I am today........you tell me

Should I open the door?

2011-11-03T20:05:00.000-07:00

At times trouble comes knocking on your door, and I can only wonder if I should open it. It could be anyone, my friends, my family, or just a complete stranger.

what you get when you don't open the door.....

You may never know the news the person on the other end may have for you. The news could be important information that could change your life, or how you view things. The news may not always be bad, but could have a negative outcome if its not taken care of right away. And of course it could be a stranger that would kill you and since you didn't open the door, you still have your life..

Now obviously that door will most likely be opened even if its not you opening it. The bad thing about all this is that, once you open that door then you automatically become involved. Whatever good, bad that person may bring, now has your name attached to it. You don't have to be the bad guy in this scenario, but hey you opened the door didn't you. There is now a million versions of the actual story and we will only believe the version that has the most drama....

Well someone is knocking on my door *slowly gets up an hesitates*......... Should I open it?

signing off

Ascension

illusions..

2011-11-02T23:40:00.000-07:00

Its easy for someone or something to put up an act from the outside, and at times I feel like I am a victim of illusions because I may fall for something to be truthful when infact it could possibly be a lie. At the moment I will use a simple example. I honestly and truly believe that people in comparison to my mirror lie to me. I have a bump on my eye, or so my mirror claims. I know its there, my reflection knows its there, but people (ahem ahem), do not see it.

What does this mean exactly? am I and my reflection crazy!, how can two people be crazy?

Does this mean I need another mirror or that people (ahem ahem) are just trying to be nice.
I think the way I look to other people is not how I see myself...... An my pictures an reflection do not look the same, so in total we are dealing with a whole lotta of people....this is confusing....

signing off

Ascension

suckumentary at its finest

2011-06-08T17:26:00.001-07:00

sometimes the things you want to forget the most are the things that continuously haunt you. And I don't mean to be paranoid, but its like you want to forget a name like "zamboo" and why is it the name pops up on the news, like is "zamboo" even a typical name, and ppl tell me I'm delusional and that I'm looking for these things to make sense of the bigger picture, and what happens next, the main character on a movie I decide to watch is named "zamboo", or the bball player I suddenly have a crush on is named "zamboo".....GOO AWAY ZAMBOO

now obviously I made up the name zamboo, but the real name is just as strange and I have to withold it due to confidentiality and privacy laws, I'm not tryna get sued here.

The main point that I'm tryna make is that, sometimes little things keep reminding you of what used to be good, and you begin to wonder, are these things really "signs", should I just continue what I'm doing and run into "zamboo" at other odd places, or should I take a chance and see if these signs really mean something

risk heart ache and torture, or live in a world of what ifs?

which would you choose

The greatness of her love

2010-12-09T16:45:00.000-08:00

The greatness of her love
She wheeled him into his room at the hospital after giving him a shower. She walked with drenched clothes, but giggled at the thought that the shower nozzle slipped from her hands. She was exhausted, and her body was sore, lifting her husbands leg was too much of an effort considering it was nothing but dead weight. She hardly thought of the times before his spinal cord injury only because she couldn’t remember how life was then. He on the other hand was constantly worried about her, he hated that she took care of him so much and dedicated her time, effort and strength to make him comfortable but whenever he asked why she did it she would always reply “because i love you”. Not once did she complain of how tired she was, she was always in smiles and it seemed like what she did had no effect on her she always said “im the luckiest woman in the world”
I always loved seeing them at the hospital, the amount of love they had for each other. His helplessness and her dedication, it makes you wonder how far one will go. He couldn’t move at all on his own, she was his arms and legs. He was smitten by her love an she was dedicated, working full time and taking care of him. Through the months he started to get better, he gained back sensation and movement in his arms and took his time to work on his upper body, and if you ever asked him he would say, “i do this so she doesn’t have to”. Though he would never walk again, he was determined to be independant with the limbs he had.......
I just wanted to share this story, and give her some sort of recognition, not just her but all women that go through the same thing.

Women shouldn't work...the antidote perspective

2010-11-30T15:36:00.000-08:00

This may be the most controversial, and yes maybe sexist thing that Ive ever mentioned publicly, but I truly believe that as a woman I shouldn't work a day in my life.

Why?!

Well this thought came to me while I woke up at 5 am for my placement at the hospital sometime ago. First thing I noticed were the bags under my eyes, my pale dehydrated tired looking skin, and I thought to myself, what on earth am I doing to myself. I got dressed and left my sleeping family in bed while I "the woman" went to work.....
Hours later I came back exhausted and zombie like, started cleaning doing laundry, time passed next thing you know my alarm clock rings an the cycle continues.......

A mans life

He wakes up, goes to school or work, comes back exhausted and zombie like, his meal is set for him (on average), he goes to bed at his own free will and does as he pleases at this point. He is not required to do housework or extra chores but he is pitied for coming home "exhausted" and we the females are asked to "leave him alone"........well what about me or girls like me, why can't exhaustion be in our dictionary..

So I thought, why not just cut some things out of the equation, like working. For now its just a back up plan but I don't think I ever intend to bother myself with work or anything that will break my nails.

AAHHH what a life that will be

need me an adventure

2010-09-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu alaikum errr one

Ok so alot of people have asked me about the journey through the 10 days and why I havent finished documenting the rest of the days. Alhamdulilah we prayed all the days but because of a death in the family I temporarily lost interest in blogging about it. Those last few days are a bit personal so I'll keep it as that.

so back to my topic......so I want to go paragliding and ziplining, an sky diving an all that fun stuff, but a) I can never find a group of people brave enough to go adventure seeking with me, and b) everything costs a hell of alot of money. Why does it have to cost money to jump, off a plane, jumping is free, why can't I just rent the equipment and be on my way. I'm sure I can find some online tutorials of how to bend my legs while I'm in the air. I want to go to china an be dared to eat fried bugs and worms and throw up and laugh about it later on. Or go to a rainforest and....i dont know what I would do there but it seems interesting. Or go to an african village an just dance with the tribal leaders an paint my face like a tribal warrior. I have dreams of throwing my self off a mountain and diving into a waterfall which also happens to be on my bucketlist, I feel that I have no time to do it all while I'm still young. For a 23 year old with excrutiating random back pains my time is ticking.....HELPPPP MEEEEE!!!!!

Journey with us through the last ten days

2010-09-05T17:54:00.000-07:00

Day 6-Tariq x2

I know we already went to Tariq but we wanted to repeat it again. One thing I'd like to say is that its not easy for someone to pick up a load of girls that are scattered across toronto, for the sake of performing Tahajjud at a masjid. May Allah (swt) reward my dear friend Hiba who took the responsibility upon herself (Ameen). I'd also like to mention that since Ramadan is coming to an end, I pray that the rest of the year feels exactly like this ramadan. InshAllah we have gained enough strength from this month to be protected against the shaytan once theyve been unchained. Tomorrow will be an odd day so we should take the time to make dua for those that are in a struggle. When we are consumed in the prayer of others, the angels make duaa for us, so inshAllah we should take advantage of that.

Journey with us through the last ten days

2010-09-04T15:44:00.000-07:00

Day 5-Darul Hijrah

So again we didnt go to the masjid we had planned on going, this seems to be a routine lol, but it wasn't written for us to go. It was meant for us to make Darul hijrah number 5 and of course we embraced it. The reciter had an amazing voice MashAllah, however we were all disappointed he went really fast. I felt rushed, but khayr, we used the rest of the time to sit in our corners making duaa, and went to the car an played a recording of a duaa (Hiba's idea....smart girl). So far the experience is great, it set a trigger on me an on all of us. We seem different, closer, our bond seems stronger then before. Unfortunately no pics again and with very good reason. The place looks like a warehouse, an I'd rather you all imagine how it looked like anyways....InshAllah if god wills Abu Hurairah will be the next masjid.....INSHALLAH!!!

Journey with us through the last ten days

2010-09-03T16:14:00.000-07:00

Day 4- IMO/Malton Masjid

Day 4 only included Hiba, my sister and I, so we decided to make the most of it and head to Malton Masjid on Dairy rd. After recieving so much positive feedback regarding this masjid, we were only too excited to check it out. Pulling up infront of the masjid we were in awe, and my reflex reaction pulled out the camera and....NO FLASH!!. We could not get a decent picture, considering it was too dark, and unusually empty. The parking lot had only one car, and we were all confuzzled about it. Like in all scary movies we got out of the car one by one an decided to check it out. We watched in horror a small group of men getting ready to pray....we turn our heads around WHERE ARE THE WOMEN!?!?!. The masjid was completely empty, and only about 5 brothers (May their prayers be answered ameen) were in it. We were too shy an nervous to pray behind them, so we left in disappointment to the nearest masjid which happened to be IMO. It was not on the list but alhamdulilah it was still great. The experience is still the same in my eyes. We all make the same duas, and we all wish for the same things. This experience is not just about "masjid hopping" but about loving all masjids equally. They all have the same concept, and it is a place of worship. These buildings welcome all walks of life, and it is something to appreciate. May Allah (swt) reward those who run these masjids for us to pray in, and may they be amongst those who are under his shade on that day AMEEN.

Journey with us through the last ten days

2010-09-02T19:08:00.000-07:00

Day 3-Isna Allahuma innaka afuwan, tuhibul afwa, fa'fu anee!!!

Isna is such a beautiful masjid mashAllah, I had moments where I wanted to say forget this 10 day nonsense I want to come back here. The recitor's voice was beyond amazing mashAllah, there was just something about this day that was so perfect..perhaps it was Laylatul Qadr....or not, but regardless InshAllah all my prayers are accepted. I have nothing more to say, but let the pictures speak for itself.

Isna was our top 5 masjids, but I regret not making it the last masjid to pray in. There are some masjids we would like to repeat, isna an ar rowda made the cut....so far that is

This is the wudhoo area, how gorgeous is this

This shot was the hardest to take, only because the males were still in the mussala area, and they assumed we were being so bold as to take pics of our potentials husbands LOOL....we only wanted this shot I SWEAR IT

I thank my sister for this shot, once you enter a masjid you need a brave person to take the shots, because noone wants to look like the crazy tourist eheheh

As you may have noticed no tim horton pics, my cam died an I'm too lazy to charge it. We had donuts, cheese croissants milkshakes, ice caps, tea and a peach fizzy drink....HMMMMHMMHMM you can just imagine it until I put up the pics of that

Journey with us through the last 10 days

2010-09-01T18:40:00.000-07:00

Day 2- Tariq Masjid

We ran through some techinical difficulties today, ok maybe not some, infact we missed all of Tahajjud salaah because someone fell asleep on the couch (I'm not pointing fingers...HIBA !). However we still wanted to continue an atleast make it for fajr salaah. We got drunk on caffeine an headed towards the beautiful Tariq Masjid.

We got some cool shots while noone was looking, an the few that did see us thought we were tourists hehehe if only they knew...

Waiting for fajr salaah.....yawn!!

My all time favorite shot......dont we look sooo peaceful!!!

Tim never disappoints, this brother has potential!!

Journey with us through the last 10 days at 10 different Masjids

2010-08-31T15:10:00.000-07:00

Day 1-Masjid Ar-Rowda (pardon the cheesy blog title)

So a few friends and I thought it would be a cool idea, if we prayed tahajud at 10 different masjids. We were extremely excited to make Ar-Rowda the first one. After stuffing ourselves with food and large amounts of caffeine, we hit the road towards Weston and Lawrence and parked right infront of an empty church (we snickered at this moment). Asma, Hiba, Siham and I had an extremely blessed night praying at this masjid, though we encountered some troubles when it came to suhoor at Tim Hortons, (I am not at Liberty to expose publicly) ..... it was still an amazing night.

Hiba and Asma entering the masjid

We seriously give it up to Tim Hortons... Tim you truly are the love of our lives, though you disappointed me an didnt give me my cup of water, though I'm sure we can negotiate some type of compromise......

Wash your mouth with soap

2010-08-25T00:09:00.000-07:00

I think its time we invest in a product that washes the filth in our mouths, because our speech has become so dirty. It's gotten to the point where children are starting to immitate our disgusting dialect and behave in an adult like manner.

wash your mouths with soap
your breath reaks of deragatory terms an
body parts that shouldnt be your concern.
Keep private things that god made private,
be modest and dont descrbe whats hidden in your clothes,
profanity is the language of the fool
and believe me you don't wanna be that fool
That uneducated foul-mouthed fool
who flaunts their stupidity with cursed words type fool
and if your a child remain one
and speak in the dialect of mannerisms
Aint no rush to grow old, stick to your cartoons
Fun dont stay forever cuz that will go too
we may be moving forward too soon
but I don't mind going old school
when it comes to discipline and corporal punishment
To keep my kids in check with their thank you's
and not their F you's
Whats with the inhabitants of todays land
we've lost the voice to speak like the speech of great men
like malcom x, and even our prophets
whom embraced kind words
and spread it with open hands
but its cool , cause thats what were used to
Weve been placed in low ranks
an we'll stay there too
My mouth is dirty can someone pass me the soap
so I can clean out the stench of derogatory terms

Not yet titled

2010-08-20T13:59:00.000-07:00

This is for everyone that's been stricken with grief or bad news....Allah has a plan for you, the greatest reward comes to those with patience, so bear with it an bite your tongue, make duaa an say Alhamdulilah

For the smile that lights up a thousand lanterns

To beauty that is too radiant I have to peak

Nay you are not beautiful shame on my words

The word should not define you

You define the word

One should be envious of your blessing

One should be envious of your essence

I should be envious, I should

Such blessings I do not deserve

I would dress in dirty rags

Just to see you clothed in gold

A tear you drop distorts the image

A frown cracks the glow of your visage

A slouch mutates your gracious gait

An your grief will grant me sadness for days

One should be envious of your blessing

One should be envious of your essence

I should be envious, I should

You have been blessed by the only divine

Take this time to thank him but do not cry

He tests only those whom he loves

You were chosen amongst many

Be patient for surely you are who he loves

One should be envious of your blessing

who wouldnt be envious of your essence

for I should be envious I should

I should be envious I should

A Muslim Woman

2010-08-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

I am a Muslim Woman
I am not an alien, and no black is not my favorite color, (though I find it flattering against my complexion and you instantly lose 10 inches off your waist!!!)
I am not bald, but I have an excuse to have a bad hair day.
I am not hot under my scarf, its 2010 if you havent heard already we have built in ac's up in here.
I can hear very well, it just so happens my scarf is a fabric not a wall that impairs my hearing.
I am not illiterate, I can speak english very well and sadly better than my first language.
I am not weak, I knocked out a ufc fighter with my bare hands literally!!!
I am not oppressed I practice my deen out of my own free will
I find it strange when I hear people say things like "go back to your country" ummm, I'm canadian.....
I am not married to a Muhammad that I've never seen before, infact I'm not married and don't plan to be in a forced marriage.......thats not normal
I may look strange with all these layers, but hey atleast I wont get sunburn
I wear the scarf because I love it.
I am a Muslim Woman,
I love chocolate, candies and all things sweet, I love books poetry all things real, I love food, knowledge all things human and I love peace, tranquility....all things ISLAM

feminine jealousy

2010-08-09T01:03:00.000-07:00

Pablo Neruda makes my knees weak...there I said it!!!!. His 100 love sonnets are about the same woman, that is just incredible. I would have loved to be that woman for that one day. My tears of joy would have turned into 100 days of mourning, and I in turn wouldve written 100 sonnets on Pablo's 100 sonnets an how I felt with each sonnet I read....Pablo thats a whole lotta love!!
Damn you Matilde (which was the woman he wrote the sonnets for <3 )

thought provoking

2010-07-30T01:07:00.000-07:00

So lately Ive been feeling like I havent really accomplished anything. The book ive been "writing" is still untitled an my dreams of being on oprah promoting my work is still.....a dream. I thought for quite sometime now that I was a "nothing", you know those people that have no talent, nothing to offer to society and I call these people the "takers". Being a taker I felt kind of down for a very long time, I wanted to be someone, I wanted to be important, I wanted to be like sophie kinsella, or yasmina khadra. I want to be an author, and I know that a few chapters of an untitled book wont make me an author but even I have dreams. I figured of all the authors trying to make it big, of the thousands of writers working towards their dreams, why am I so special? Well sadly I am not special, and maybe not as good as the other writers out there. I realized being a taker is not so bad, sometimes to be a writer you need an audience to appreciate talent an work and that to me is just as important. A writer is nothing without its readers. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even if my dreams don't work out, I'm playing a major part in making other dreams come true. If we all made it, who would be our critics when everyone is too busy competing with each other. One day if InshAllah it happens then alhamdulilah an if not then good luck to all the other writers out there.

p.s I still want to be on oprah

signed

avid reader

Congrats to all

2010-07-17T00:48:00.000-07:00

Tis a time of happiness and joy and this is a message to all that have or are beginning a new phase in their lives.....

To all the new mothers, fathers, and expecting parents. To the newly weds and soon to be couples. To those who have just stepped out of highschool an those who have just ended the long an treacherous journey of postsecondary. To those who have seen their loved ones after a long period of time, and those who have packed their bags an have moved into islamic grounds. To those who have finally decided to make a dream come true an to those whose dreams have already come true.

May you all take advantage of this joyous occasion and thank Allah (swt) upon recieving such a blessing.

When he (the Prophet) (pbuh) used to receive pleasant news, he (pbuh) would say:

‘All Praise is for Allaah by whose favour good works are accomplished.’

الْحَمْـدُ للهِ الَّذي بِنِـعْمَتِهِ تَتِـمُّ الصّـالِحات

Al hamdu li-l-lâhi l-ladhî bi-ni^cmatihi tatimmu s-sâlihâtu.

bloodsucka

2010-07-08T22:52:00.000-07:00

Ive built an enemy line between the mosquito and I, this is beyond war, this is hatred to a new level!!!

My dear bloodsuckers, what have I ever done to you, please spare me the grief and humility of scratching in places I dare not scratch in public. Im aware of the sweetness of my blood but Ive been told the blood of a swine is far sweeter than mine. O mosquito's I beg of thee to leave me in peace, leave me in my tranquil state of non itching. I bid thee farewell, for these scratches will leave scars and I will be forced to remember you always, this is a promise I have no choice but to keep. This wound that you leave behind will forever be a part of me, an will remain a memory of what wouldve been a beautiful day until a mosquito bit me......

good day now

*scratches on out of blogspot*

unrealistic expectations

2010-07-04T23:19:00.000-07:00

Here I am as emotional as ever an the topic for today is UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.
Of course everything I talk about in here is from personal experience, nothing too specific but pretty general in a sense that I the blogger also have the right to keep some things private.

I think that going into relationships people have expectations about the other that is just extremely unrealistic. By relationships I don't mean the western term of boyfriend and girlfriend, but I mean someone looking for marriage. In most cases I find the men always have ridiculous requirements in there list that are at times unnecessary. I feel that if you wish for an educated person in your life, you should be educated yourself, or if you wish for a women to be fit an attractive the other person must be trying their best to be healthy as well. I do understand that we shouldnt settle for less but how can you ask for someone so great when you yourself are not doing the part to fit that criteria. When did people stop being so real?

Everyone an everything seem so plastic, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I miss moments where one is praised for just being simple.

signed

hmmmm

Earthquake!?!?!?

2010-06-24T00:20:00.000-07:00

How creepy was that, an earthquake in southern ontario, I never thought I'd live to see the day. Today surprisingly my motherly instincts kicked in when I felt my bed shaking, my initial reaction was "hmmmm this doesnt feel right" an after reading all the bbm updates on my phone (thanks guys) I realized it was an earth quake. AAAAHHH!!! now where is my little sister, is she alive, is she dead, how come noone is at my house. Maybe their stuck in the basement somewhere or maybe something fell on my family an their out there hopefully straining to keep their last breaths....In those few minutes of confusion I felt the world shake again...metaphorically that is, until that thought bubble was popped when the door opened an it was my dear old dad. Carrying a tray full of ice caps an a smile on his face my dad screeched in an excited tone "did you feel the earth quake!!"

well yes baba...yes I did

Relieved, an Loving my family *sigh*

God works in mysterious ways

2010-06-16T23:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes as humans we never appreciate what we have. When its within reach its invisible and when its out of reach it suddenly becomes the most valuable thing ever. Now I dont mean to be vague but this concept can be associated with anything. When its gone we crave for it, but we never stop to think why it was taken from us to begin with. We don't stop and say Alhamdulilah but we complain until it comes back only to realize that when it does return we get it on a silver platter. This is the blessing of Allah (swt) and when I say "we" I mostly mean myself. I realized if I didnt have such a negative connotation towards these things, and actually sat down and thought of the severity of my actions I would be more patient. The funny thing about all this is that no matter how many times I'm reminded (by my mother) I never learn my lesson, I react first and understand later. Now I hope my patience does increase because I do believe its a virtue. Because all the things that I had lost were only replaced with better things, and if I had known this earlier maybe I wouldve stopped myself from crying to begin with.

Enlightened (Hope I spelled that right)

HUH?!

2010-06-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

The english language seems to be evolving and the bad part is I feel like I don't understand people any more. New words are being created that I can't seem to find in the oxford dictionary. The other day someone asked me if I was straight and the only response I could give was "I'm not gay". My friend laughed and responded with "no silly I mean are you good, do you got loochie?". To avoid any further embarrassment I smiled and nodded my head. I don't like slang, its not english. If I was so concerned with learning another language I would dedicate my time to learning my own somali language again (which I happen to suck at). Is slang supposed to be cool, because you found a shorter way to pronounce a long word, doesnt that just make a person lazy. We should either get these words in the dictionary or stop making stuff up. And no urban dictionary is not a dictionary. I would be grateful if someone politely asked "how are you?" instead of a "whats cracking" thats confusing because, I havent cracked anything *looks around to see if something was stepped on*

p.s I put the pic up only because I thought it was cool.

to a special friend

2010-06-07T21:32:00.000-07:00

So a good friend of mine told me she was getting married, and instead of congratulating her....I got teary eyed. I mean yaaayyy she's getting married, I'm more than happy for her, but its the thought of her leaving that frustrates me. Change is something that is so hard to deal with. Ive written about it before being used to something, or someone in your life. You expect things to be there forever, you expect people to always be there. I expected her to always be there. Raising our kids together, and forcing them to be friends even if they didnt like each other. You dream of things that are unlikely but probable but you continue dreaming because the possibility is still there. As selfish as this sounds, I never wanted her gone, not that far away. Because those foolish dreams, as unrealistic as it sounds, may never come true now.

My favorite homie in the whole wide world, the original heart throb of toronto, this post is dedicated to you. So you know how much youve influenced my life. Ive always been told to choose my friends wisely, they may take you to paradise, well mama I have chosen wisely. I can say from the bottom of my heart that you've taught me nothing but good, on the deen, on school and just life in general. You taught me confidence and convinced me that I'm beautiful exactly the way I am. Of all the happiness, joy an laughter that exists in this world, may you be showered with plenty of it. Remember your friends *wink wink* were still here, and I'm always there for you.

Love you always

Epitome of Beauty

2010-06-01T14:47:00.000-07:00

A journey has begun with the battle of the mind and heart
did love really exist, should it be ranked amongst the many Ive been with
Its seems these writings are an obligation upon me
to write about the epitome of beauty and sincerity
it does exist because I lay here writing about this
writing about the truth and what I've experienced
no need for anger just acceptance of what has come
You see this poem is a must for people to know the reality
of what is and what was
and what type of men an women exist beyond what we know
I've met goodness in the flesh
and touched my dreams with a sweet caress
his first words were "you are beautiful"
and my reply was "how so?"
in a daze it blew me away,
what Ive always known through readings came before me
So I write this, a poem or something like it
to tell the world I too have seen it
They should know the myth
that love truly exists, and I peered into his eyes
an his into mine an we were then known as "us"
we were known as one, together we were love
Together....

imaan49

Certified Insanity

2010-04-06T08:31:00.000-07:00

When the brains reason conflicts with the hearts emotions

It triggers a wave that i wish i never set in motion

And my heart refuses to settle with my minds resolve

Uneasiness envelopes me

My hand ready to dial that number that ends with three

Saying SORRY, i'm tired of me and you, Can we just go back to WE?

If i'm right then why do i feel so wrong

And although at first i remained strong

i dwindled inside myself, wishing the day wasn't as long

With puffy eyes and tainted heart

I question myself over and over, how did we fall apart?

As i lay in bed, and the sight of food repels me

I take comfort in the ticking of the clock

Im still here i'm reassured as i wait for the next tock

Marving

2010-03-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

So its been awhile since I last posted I know, I just did not have much to say. Well no I'm lieing I had alot to say but who really has the time to write on blogs nowadays. My clock has more than 24 hours, I consider it to be 36 hours. That being said I feel like venting today an the thing I want to vent about is women. I think I should justify the attitudes of women around the world because we do have valid reasons as to why we are so crazy. Lets dig a little deeper shall we. We all know that women speak a different language, if you don't know by now that "no" means "yes", and "I don't know: truly means "I know" then your the one in the different planet buddy. Its such a simple language and we are not so hard to please, buy us something nice maybe a little jewellery and we'll smile throughout the day. You want us to stop nagging well then say something sweet, preferrably off a shakespear play (depending on how lucky you are). And if you don't think the sweet things are the truth well then say it anyways, lieing is never good but lieing to a women will get you places. Fellas that use these tactics are smart an know what their doing so moral of the day........

buy things, read shakespear and lie...

Marving
imaan49

Dear Words

2010-03-06T18:16:00.000-08:00

I apologize for abandoning you. I do wish i could visit you more often. The problem lies with my inability to write consistently. I'm an emotional writer, and well i'm not always emotionally. Perhaps you feel a bit used, or unappreciated.. And i dont blame you because i use you... I use you when i'm happy, when i'm upset, when i'm disheartened, and when i'm bored..But most often i'm very indifferent... lol.. Anyway the reason i write to you today is because well (yes you guessed it) i'm emotional.. But here is the thing. Although my emotions have brought me to you, id like to mention i dont plan on abandoning you again. Well at least those are my intentions.. And i know actions speak louder than words.. So i hope to prove you wrong in your doubt..

With Love
A writer

twitterific

2009-12-21T07:48:00.000-08:00

In celebration of my 1000th (the time this is finished I'm pretty sure I will be well over 1000) tweet I dedicate this entry to twitter. I remember when my dearest friend ( well I hope she’s still my friend) tried to get me to jump on the bandwagon when twitter first came out. I was still weaning myself of facebook and knew that I wouldn't be able to maintain a real life alongside all these cyber lives. I wasn't won over by her explanation of what twitter was to be quite frank. To me it was a place where a bunch of birds were trying to morph into sheep. I avoided the temptation for a short while until my hands unconsciously typed in twitter.com.....setting up the account was relatively easy and from that point on I became a fan of the site. It wasn't until I downloaded ubertwitter on my phone that my addiction formed. The ease in which I could easily tweet my thoughts appealed to me. " Right now I'm with idil", "pennies are useless and should seize to exist"... Those were my amature tweets... As time went on my tweeting skills improved “driving aimlessly with the hando @idiley". " Lsning to replay @seankingston literally on replay..". I've never been the entertaining type so my lack of followers is self explanatory. Well not really because I can think of many people who are not even remotely interesting but still have a herd of sheep following them...yes my hope in life is to be eligible to get a verified account.. Let's get down to the nitty gritty.. Anybody whose following me Is only doing so probably courtesy of my friends and follow fridays...(Does that really work, would you blindly follow someone because someone told you 2). A display pic one has often abides in getting ones attention... my display pic on the contrary probably instills confusion in the hearts of many.... It is definitely not aiding me in my attempts... My pic "is somewhere in the mix between a 13 year old boy who just hit puberty tryna be a thug and a girl who has an identity crises". I've attempted on working on my poses and even considered showing more skin. Maybe something along the lines of my hand and heyyy if we are being really provocative maybe an ankle.....I am pretty ashamed of my pose, because I'm pretty sure I've fallen victim to what @nileevans was warning people against in his blog. Lucky for you all though I'm not photogenic.... Sometimes I need to take a step back and analyze what is going on.. @souljaboytellem so how's your day.... Do you really think he cares,,,, but we still respond, secretly believing that this timeeee its going to be different)... I'm fine... And that's pretty much where the convo ends... ok I understand the point of twitter ,its a great place to network and get out your awkward thoughts without people judging you..(Ya right)... Yes people judge you, and not only people you know but random strangers are judging u too..You know that #twitterrunsyourlife if you are a twitter celeb but before twitter no one knew who you were..if you tweet your every thought even while you’re driving your car.. If you start thinking your cool enough to unfollow people, or you've reached your capacity of people you will follow… all that put aside... When I first got on twitter I was a celeb junky.. Until I realized how annoying some of them really are... Sometimes the less you know about the person the more you like em... I've lost respect for many of my fav celebs because of twitter.. there are a few who still keep it real, like @seankingston I mean he's pretty humble, and oddly enuff he takes some time to respond back to his followers.. The point is if you think a celeb is gonna be your friend cuz you follow him/her, it aint gonna happen.. He\she probably has enuff friends, and if you tryna be that quickie he\she hits up when they in your town, have a nice pic( possibly one that doesn't include your face, because that is not relevant for the cause) up and say as little as possible, they aint talkin to u for your smarts...twitter has become grounds for real life beef... did i just loose follower, wtf... That's it imma delete her arse off bbm as well, that trifling heffa, tryna send tweets to my man...(Actually he belongs to nobody, he doesn't even know who you are.. He just replied with an lol, that wasn’t he’s way of saying he loves you.. I’ve been fooled with that myself)... Then we got the follow hungry folk who join groups that will give you more follower..(Are u serious, that's just low)... I'd appreciate people who actually are actively reading my tweets cuz they find them amusing rather than people who tryna increase their numbers following me.. Lastly, for all the laylow creepers, who follow you but NEVER say anything to you.. Wat that's about, its kinda weird (I'm sorry don't unfollow me)loool.. Twitter is terrific, great waste of time..now follow me..

Reality101

Word babble

2009-12-11T06:24:00.000-08:00

Word association makes life hard for me…..Whenever I think of certain words I always associate it with an object, but most often to a song. As i take a bite out of a gummy bear my mind remembers the gummy bear cartoon(which is something #igrewuopn) and I start to sing “gummi bears bouncing here and there and everywhere…..why buy a matters anywhere else”…. I’m not sure why I always end that song with the sleep country mattress song but it’s engraved in my head forever. The sad part is the conviction I sing the songs in, as if it’s not ridiculously bizarre of me to be conjoining two songs that have nothing to do with each other. The point is I’m sure I’m not the only person who has weird word association, but ever since I heard the song hot sauce by sweetrush… I cannot pick up a bottle of hot sauce and not say “I’m just like hot sauce, can you handle me”.. No matter where I am, or who is beside me, I always blurt out whatever tune is ringing in my head. This is a tad bit embarrassing I must admit for my friends that is, because I have no qualms in making a fool out of myself, its second nature. “Even though It’s too late, wanna say I’m sorry”(I sing, throwing up deuces in the air as I imitate the music video ) to those that have to suffer this period of utter nonsense of mine I know it can be annoying at times….Sometimes I’m not even sure if I’m singing the right words, but I think the melody is correct, or so I’ve convinced myself. I open the door to step outside my house and do a once over in the mirror “an say wassup”… Wait, I think I’m losing my sense of self, because with each song that sticks to my head, the less control I have of my own thoughts. GET OUT “right now it’s the end of you and me, it’s too late and I can’t wait for you to be gone”… I’d like a refund, can I get my brain back…….

A penny or many!!

2009-12-09T14:30:00.000-08:00

If you get annoyed by humans and your best friend is a toy kittens, if you feel like you always get the short end of the stick in life, and if smiling is a chore….. Plz stay at home and cry yourself a river (or anywhere that is not close to my vicinity would do just fine). Is it just me or has good customer service become a foreign thing. Shopping isn’t an experience that I enjoy and I definitely don’t need anyone making it any more dreadful (unless I’m shopping online that is). “Don’t you have any bills” the cashier says (as she rolls her eyes with a handful of change in her hand). Sometimes I feel like they’re the ones doing me the favor for allowing me to shop at their store…. “Nope just 200 pennies so get to counting” … Seriously if I wanted to use a bill I would have, its dollarama for crying out loud, … What does it take to get some good ol fashioned customer service where the customer is always right, and possibly a smile at the end of the transaction? I know this aint MacDonald’s and smiles aint free, but give me a break and do your job. When else can I get rid of my pennies if not at a dollar store? (It’s a recession bloody hell, I’m broke ok) This happens in just about every store and especially if the teller is a female. I use to think they were all just pmsing but its happened way to many times for that to be a sound reason. “can I get this in a size 4”( more like a size 12, but for purposes of making myself feel better I’m a size 4” ….. “ya its over there on the shelf”…looool, Wait, I thought it was your job to fetch things, why are you directing me to a shelf that I don’t plan to walk over to. I mean I’ll gladly waltz over there if I’m getting some sort of good customer discount, or even a share of your paycheck. Why can’t you all just make my life and your life easier and recognize you’re actually at work, which probably means you’re going to have to do some “work”. Yes very bizarre I know but someone’s gotta do it.
What happened to cultural sensitivity these days? If you are working at a place that a certain culture is known to live, don’t be oblivious to the fact that they will be your most frequent customers….. Some people just say the darnest things I tell you. I’m very mellow in nature but if there is something that boils my blood it would have to be any sort of racial slur. The remarks are rarely intended to me, but I feel for whoever is being offended. This goes out to all my Asian, African, and South American friends and anyone else whose grasp of English is anything less than perfect (hmm I guess that would also include myself ). I’ve realized that having a battle of wit doesn’t work at all, it just makes you more upset and result to nothing. I was at the hospital the other night and because of swine flu they were not letting anyone in who was not either the parent or grandparents of the patient. The thing with the Somali culture is that as soon as they find out someone is sick they all flock to hospital to wish them well (off course with food that is, because food makes everything so much better)… This might seem odd to someone who is not use to this cultural behavior which was probably the case for the receptionist that had the ill pleasure of having to assist me.
One of the ladies was refused to see a patient and well…no never really means no (it means yes after being annoying enough). So she slyly tried to go unnoticed, but to no avail.. The reception blurts out hey lady with the red scarf….. HOLD UP, did I just hear that or was I drifting back off to la la land….. Calm down, no worries I tell myself ( yes I talk to myself, don’t pretend like you don’t)….As me and my sister wait in the lobby waiting for my niece the receptionist goes on mumbling nonsense to her co-workers..”It must be a full moon or something”..lool wtf, do we look like werewolf’s or something ( I haven’t shaved in the past week so maybe my hairiness justifies her remark)….Loosing my patience I walk over to the counter and question when we could go into see the kid, she replies “I think there is a new rule that won’t allow you to go in”.. no one is paying you to think lady…you either know or you don’t .. I hate getting the runaround, I am only allowed to give people the runaround, … How dare she try and use my own tricks on me. She directs me to a flyer with the rules that I should look over.. As I skim over the paper I get more furious as to the paper has nothing to do with what I’m inquiring about (rather refreshing read though, I learned a few new things about H1n1). In fact it goes against what she is telling me. I walk over and calmly tell her that the paper states nothing that is relevant to what I’m asking, and she replies I know… SO EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME.. if I wanted to read id go to the library….loool seriously.. In any case I had enough ammunition to take this to someone a bit higher up.. The key is never to complain to a manger, because the likely hood of the person you’re complaining about and the manger being friends are high…. You have to go one up…. And never complain about the rules… There is no point arguing about not being able to enter the hospital because underneath all that rubbish that was coming out of her mouth there probably is some truth… You argue everything except that…. Your argument should be fueled by the manner in which you were spoken to and in particular the verbiage. Can you imagine someone saying “hey you with the turban”….That would not fly.. so why would “hey you with the scarf”…Why am I getting worked up about something that didn’t happen to me…. Simple, because that could have been my mother, my aunt, or even my cousin.. Not knowing the language, or being culturally different does not warrant being treated unjustly.. Wow was that a sob story or wat.. fml………………….
The moral of the story is……………Always pay in pennies and try and get all receptionist fired because if they haven’t already slipped up, we can get em before they do…

Reality

REDSKIN

2009-12-07T13:08:00.000-08:00

Can’t live with it , and most certainly cannot live without it.... His name is Redskin, no he's not native american if you wondering(holding my hands behind my back, swaying oh so gently back and forth while i kick sand) Yes he makes me feel connected, always and forever...We have this love hate relationship you see, come to think of it it’s really hard to explain. Before I actually met him, people would rant and rave about him. You see when i first met Redskin, it was solely because my friends told me he was great, so i thought what the hell, i will give him a test run.. I'm not a sucker to peer pressure I’m an individual i follow no one (except about 47 on twitter, a few who refuse to follow me back...tear drops). In any case when we first met it was love at first sight. Anywhere I went Redskin was not far away. But as time went on I started to realize a dependency I was forming on Redskin.. In the morning when I woke, in the washroom while I did a number 2 (come on don’t pretend like you don’t take your phone with you) while reading people’s recent tweets, and even beside me as I go to sleep…… I started to notice that I was losing my real life, and replacing it with a Redskin life. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate all the luxuries that come with you Redskin, but I I think that you’re a bit too intrusive.. I miss being alone, and unreachable at times….. This constant I know what you did …the last two minutes isn’t going to work anymore.

Ok on a more serious note though. What is up with blackberry messenger? The new update makes life a living hell.. Have you ever tried deleting someone, it’s a pain in the arse i tell you. You don’t get removed off their list instead, you stay on their list, and if they try msging u they get an option to revinvite you. Dont renivite me,,, I just deleted you, have some pride and move on. Say goodbye to slick getaway deletes, where you think the person wouldn’t notice your absence. More importantly for those who don’t have a berry this might sound like a bunch of gibberish but I have to get this out there. With the blackberry message, unlike msn, when you send a msg, the person will know when you read the msg… you can Forget about ignoring the person…………“why you reading my msgs and not responding, I dun know you already read my shit…. “ Im sure we are all tired of hearing that… JUST LEAVE ME ALONE….. I HATE YOU REDSKIN,,,,BUT OH HOW I LOVE YOU..

Reality

happens everytime

2009-06-06T23:59:00.000-07:00

You sneak away to a quiet corner in the house, eager to indulge in that delicious chocolaty goodness. A few seconds to yourself you take to make sure no one is near you, your chocolate, and the location you choose to do the crime. Coast is clear, no one is near your radar so you go for it and unwrap the wrapper as carefully as you can…..an BAM!!! At that exact moment the devil herself, disguised as my sister comes down for whatever reason it may be. Sometimes its as if she has a radar for these types of things, they always just “suddenly” happen. Its either that or she has people working for her, but either way I can never figure out how she does it. The hard part of it all is that she always finds out. I mean who wouldn’t right….after all the shuffling around I do just trying to hide the evidence looks very suspicious…and yes i did share the chocolate with her. She ended up with the bigger piece (surprise surprise).

Moral of the story: if you do not have enough to share, or let me rephrase that. If you do not plan on sharing, just don't bring it into the house

yours truly

Imaan49

I need a job

2009-05-26T18:31:00.000-07:00

Maybe my resume just sucks, but whatever it may be I've been secretly wishing that out of the thousands of unemployed torontonians I wouldnt be one of them. I got only about a week before school placement officially ends to know If I am part of that statistic. In the meantime I've been trying new tactics that may help me get a job. Fixing my resume isnt one of them because honestly speaking, resume's are just a bunch of lies, no one in there right mind would read a stack of resumes, everything is out of luck. My approach (at times) is trying to woo my employers, show them what it is I have to offer, I think I'm insanely funny (i really do) and maybe I get my jobs through my personality....or I'm just pretty good at sucking up. Its do or die, jobs people never glanced towards are now suddenly full. I used to be really picky at jobs but I'm giving it two more weeks, if I'm still unsuccessful with my search its off to tim hortons....I trust my coffee shops to never go out of business on me.

imaan49

Damn you Change!!

2009-05-16T00:05:00.000-07:00

I've always was an enemy of change we don't get along, and up until now we still dont see eye to eye. Alot of the times change secretly creeps up on me when I least suspect it, i'm never ready for it even after knowing his evil schemes. I feel like everything was "so yesterday", and it was just yesterday when so and so used to come by every week, and just yesterday when i would babysit my baby cousin...I wish he were still a baby.... and just yesterday i was in saudi planning for my brothers wedding. I'm wishing it were yesterday, because yesterday and the yesterdays before i actually remember the good times, less worries and stress and NO MONEY ISSUES!!. This is a message for change, if your behind me, please let me know so this time I can mentally prepare myself for whats to come.

imaan49

niqaabi killer on the loose

2009-04-23T21:56:00.000-07:00

Rumor has it that a niqaabi serial killer is on the loose, or was she just robbing houses? Well the point is she's armed an dangerous.... and where did I hear this story from...the toronto star?...nope....ummm CNN you say....nope....THE SOMALI COMMUNITY DUHHH!!!. Where else will you hear such bizzare stories that has probably been exaggerated each time the rumor was spread. I've been told not to open doors for niqaabis, ESPECIALLY when they ask to come in to make wudhoo. LOOOOOOOOOOL, isnt that just the most ridonculous thing you've ever heard. A random niqaabi is stranded infront of housing complexes, busy fixing her niqab maybe, an well what do you know, its prayer time, she knocks on your door asking to make wudhoo....an lets just say the result is very fatal.

so watch out my fellow torontonians

imaan49

Why is goku white?

2009-04-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

I don't mean to be a prick an complain like half of anime fans, but i am so disappointed. I wouldve wrote about this sooner but my laziness got the best of me. So here's the deal, i dont get why they cast a white male in dragon ball evolution. I understand that goku was from another planet an that he may have never been japanese to begin with, but he cant be white either. Goku is supposed to be the worlds greatest saiyyan, but according to the movie his fighting skills are wack, heck the asian females fight better than he does. Goku wasnt known only for his kamayha mayha, he was known for his fighting skills as well. AND his hair is supposed to be spiky and black, and as a saiyyan its supposed to be blonde. I see asian super saiyyans on the bus that wouldve been sooo much better to play in that movie than that white guy. ARRGHHH, i know for sure that if they had a japanese cast they wouldve still made it to hollywood so their excuse about "marketing" is just a bunch of b.s to me. Well anyways i put a whole cast of asian actors together but this is the goku that i always had in mind
Takeshi Kaneshiro-house of flying daggers.

irritated imaan49

defining weird

2009-03-06T22:41:00.000-08:00

All my life I guess i've been trying to define words like weird, strange an odd, an through the years its safe to say i grew more confused about the definitions. We live in a world where we just want to fit in an feel wanted but their comes a point in life where you go through that "whatever" phase. Its that phase where youre completely careless about everything. well not everything but i mean the only time when you want to do something is if its gonna give you an adrenaline rush. Things like chilling an going to the movies have no specific value, you just do it for the sake of doing it, but if it were your choice you'd rather be at home doing absolutely nothing. A homebody is what you call it, unfortunately thats what i am,maybe to a much more xtreme definition. I love being a homebody, its one of life's natural highs. Staying at home is not the only thing but the carelessness has to do with many things. Like shopping for example, in theory i should love shopping an clothes an shoes, i mean its cool i'd love to own a bunch of things, maybe im just being apathetic. I hate walking around in malls, and if it were upto me i'd go to the nearest store, buy whatever looks remotely similar to what i planned on getting an leave. Shows that most girls watch like the infamous "hills" or any other reality show out there, are shows that i just dislike. Now is that weird, does it make me less of a girl that i'd much rather buy food with my money than a purse. Is it weird that i don't know how to put on eyeliner, would that be considered as "a disgrace to females of the world". Is it really that bad being a homebody instead of taking advantage of my youth an doing "normal" things like go bowling. Or should i just embrace this laziness an not give a care about the things that are driving most people to the brink of insanity. If being weird really is that bad than i'd hate to be in that category, an if what i do happens to belong to that category then i guess i should be offended...but the best part about being in the "whatever" phase in life, is you just don't give a care about unnecessary things.

being weird

imaan49

Mistakes

2009-02-14T21:14:00.000-08:00

A close friend of mine once said to me, "because we are the sons an daughters of adam and eve, we are prone to make mistakes..." Doing something wrong can be kinda tricky an the worst part is if its your fault. Well i've made many mistakes but this one i made recently is kind of haunting me. I'll share the story with you all....it may be funny, like pee in your pants funny but very humiliating to the person it happened to.....here goes

Every thursday an friday I work at the hospital, I mostly do personal care for the patients, giving injections regular nurse stuff. It was friday an my day to take my patient to the shower, lets call him Chan. Chan is my japanese patient, he suffered from a stroke an couldnt do anything when he first came to the hospital, but his recovery was so fast Mashallah that he never really needs me for anything, he goes on about his business an tends to himself. I got bored, I mean i was thrilled I didnt have to do anything for awhile but a wandering nurse is not a good look so what does imaan try to do, she decides to help her friend with her patient. My friend needed alot of help, her patient was totally dependant an happened to be muslim so I thought perfect I could totally relate to her. Unfortunately she did not speak a word of english, she was indian an sadly enough my years watching bollywood did me no justice. But what the hey, I helped my friend take her to the shower so she could get clean, we cleaned her up an put a robe on for her. The hospital policy is that no patient should go in the shower room or out with clothes on, they should be naked wearing a hospital gown (the kind where your behind is exposed). While wheeling her out the gown got caught under the wheel an I didn't notice, I kept wheeling her an realized the wheelchair wouldnt move anymore an she suddenly started screaming....You all guessed it, the gown rolled off her an she was completely exposed , an i was fumbling with the gown for a hot minute to cover her again so picture a whole minute with me on the ground an a screaming naked lady....

anyways that was that, the lady hates me now an doesnt even look at me, I don't blame her. An i've tried to apologize to her but she doesnt talk, so this is my way to redeem myself

I'm truly sorry

imaan49

Hijabi's just want to have fun

2009-01-24T21:25:00.000-08:00

I find it very humorous that a bunch of sisters that wear a hijab are labeled as hijabi’s. I mean its nothing to be offended about but its like were a bunch of aliens where were being asked a serious of questions that mostly sound like “what do hijabi’s do for fun” paraphrased into one hundred and one different versions. Well we got the answer for you, because I’m sure you all are just dieing to know…well we basically do…NOTHING!!!!

Pretty exciting huh, I think you guys must’ve figured out by now that asking a Somalian parent to go outside is like a mission on its own. Unless you’re going to school, a conference or the doctor’s office being treated for a deadly disease your ass is at home washing dishes. If there aren’t any dishes, hoyo/umi/mummy dear will make sure you have something to scrub. Unless you make the house so clean that you don’t need febreze to make it smell good, you just won a day pass to roam around Toronto. But what good is that day pass when your other unfortunate sisters are still stuck at home, that pass automatically becomes null and void. If your life doesn’t sound like this then you are a very fortunate person. If we “hijabi’s” do go out then its to each others houses where we help each other do the dishes and vacuum floors (sorry for breaking the vacuum reality) this is the most fun we can get only because hoyo is most likely at a wedding or getting ready to go to a wedding. We call the hijabi’s of the neighborhood and discuss our issues, and use that time to make a halal jam and wear our best clothes. There’s no way to escape either because my mother will most likely know the mother of the hijabi that lives across the street. if we do escape we make sure at least one hijabi stays home (that’s the hijabi that answers the phone calls of our mothers claiming were in the bathroom) and we rotate positions. We use this time to go bowling, but do you think were having fun…..NOPE!!! We spend that “free” time that we have looking at the time, an rejecting the phone calls from “home sweet home”…..

Ahhh such is the life of a hijabi…and I don’t regret it for the world. Atleast its halal!!!

sincerely,

the hijabi's of the world....and imaan49 of course who the hell can forget me :)

Paranoia

2009-01-18T23:15:00.000-08:00

I'm not really sure if this happens to any one of you normal people out there, but at times I feel that I suffer from paranoia. Everytime I google up a disease randomly (for educational purposes of course) the symptoms seem to always relate back to me. Like ADD for example, I think I spent two years of my life believing I had that disorder, and insomnia, I still insist I have insomnia no matter what any one tells me. Sometimes when my family and I move to a new house, I make sure my room is away from the stairs just incase a bunch of robbers decide to attack my poor family, I make sure I'm not the first to die. Once I hear the screams of my innocent siblings it'll give me a chance to escape along with my other family members that are closest to my room. Sadly I always seem to sacrifice my brother first.....

In class I make sure to always sit in the middle close to the window, but never in the front or the back. Just incase a serial killer on the run decides to enter the classroom, I wouldnt be an easy target.....I can name more but to maintain my reputation as a sane person I say no more

thinking weird....imaan49

NEED A LIFE

2009-01-06T11:04:00.001-08:00

I’ve become the definition of a bum. That’s right I confess I add nothing productive to this society. I’m not sure when exactly it became so but the realization of it hit me suddenly. I’m unemployed……I’m out of school….. And with all the time I have I do nothing productive. The thing is it’s not only me that’s in this predicament and that’s what makes things so much worse. Now that we have so many bums all the bums want to gather around and waste their time together. The thing you got to understand is that being a hijabi makes it very difficult to make use of the pretty clothes you’ve acquired over the past few years. They often just rot away in your closet and soon become too small for you because your waist size isn’t exactly as small as it use to be. So what happens to go around this problem is that people throw house parties, all girls’ house parties just in case you’re wondering. This gives everyone an opportunity to bring out that top that they’ve been dying to wear and dust off their pumps. All the girls gather around have a good time and then return to wherever it was they came from. In theory that’s a good idea, but the problem lies when everyone has free time and throws a party. So because you yourself have nothing better to do your probably going to end up going to each and every one, and then you start realizing that you’ve been to 3 different parties in one week and your running out of clothes to wear. You know you’re a bum when you know the party your headed to is going to be horrid because you’re not friends with anyone that is going but STILL YOU GO….loool now that’s just pathetic. Yes I’m at an all time low right now…..
Along with this sudden burst of events to attend my internal clock has gone haywire. I sleep until 1 and I’m awake until 4am… That’s odd because at one point in time I would get grouchy after 11 but now that’s prime time for me….lol.. The only thing that has me questioning my new owl like behavior is my mother…. I’m in this peaceful sleep, because I probably just got into deep sleep not long ago, and at exactly 12:30 she begins to holler… NAYAAAAAA Saadaan ba hoordia.. I mean I don’t get a pat on the head, honey you should probably get up you’ve slept the night away. You know, like it happens on TV when Michelle tanner is sleeping and her daddy gently wakes her up….That never happens in real life… instead she goes on telling me what a waste I’ve become and how I need to do something with myself…. Tomorrow I will wake up bright and early I tell myself until….. Tomorrow actually comes and then I decide maybe I’ll just listen for her footsteps. looool the problem for listening for her footsteps is that they are very light and she does it on purpose… I mean my mother isn’t one of those desperate housewives ladies.. She’s got some meat on her which logically means she should be making noise as she comes up the steps.. Nope.. It’s as if she’s as light as a feather… creeps up the stairs and before you know it she’s in my room yelling at me for being such a LOSER….She reminds me of crouching tiger hidden dragon. looooool…. I need a Life ASAP… anyone willing to lend me one……

Yours truly
Reality101

JUST A FRIEND

2009-01-05T14:15:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been stuck in an awkward position before?. Like when you go to an empty toilet, decided you're gonna take a shit and when you come out you find someone you know washing their hands giving you that face of disgust. Well the awkward I'm talking about is nothing like that. You see a guy calls you every day, or almost every day what do you assume. You can assume that he thinks your half cool right.I don't know about you but let's say it's a very confusing place to be. Boundaries start getting crossed, and then you start questioning yourself , What the friggggg are we. We are just friends i remind myself, just friends. But what do you do when he says something so annoying and you can't say anything back because you have no reason to be catty, remember we are just friends. Slowly you guys start arguing like a couple, talking like a couple. No one wants to have to be in that sort of situation. For future reference you already have enough friends don't make things any more awkward. The truth it's hard not to catch feelings for someone you talk to all the time.If it's nothing more than just a friendship is it fair to want out.It's like the most ideal position for a guy, no commitment.Save myself the trip of emotions and remind me that this route is one i'll avoid in the future.....

Now accepting applications for more than just a friend

SWIRL

that thing

2008-11-29T20:23:00.000-08:00

I remember this song, when I was a kid, the meaning is just really good, so gurls you better watch out for dem guys cuz their after that thing looool...ok for real its really cute an whats really good i found the acapella without the music. O yes my apologies that i havent been on for awhile, exams...you know how it is

enjoy

imaan49 aka ascension

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imaan49 aka ascension

Feeling lovey dovey

2008-11-04T12:05:00.001-08:00

So after reading a few of Mina's posts i started feeling very mushy and lovey dovey (thanks alot)..i know gross, but hey i'm female i'm entitled to be this girly...but anyways i remember that us girls love all these mushy things and we secretly wish our husbands would do sweet things for us but lets face it, men dont got a clue. I remember one of my cousins specifically would ask me for advice an some romantic things to do for his wife, he used to always come back to me saying how much she loved it..anyways i felt bad cuz if only she knew i was really her lover and not him, but all in all it made her feel good an i remember giving him a poem to read to her loool, it was a TEAR JERKER

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
`
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
`
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
`
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Pablo Neruda

LOVE <3 Imaan49

Mic Check

2008-10-22T20:05:00.000-07:00

So here's the deal, I was looking for some Amir Sulayman poetry and theirs quite a few I had in mind to post, with the assumption that you all are poetry freaks like me. However I think I found something I decided to share for the time being. It pretty much illustrates the type of discrimination my family and I faced on our way back from saudi at the london airport, and yes it still does exist. It's called a random check and we had to lets just say let go of alot of "potentially dangerous items" in our luggage, one being our zamzam water (the sacred well/water located near the Kaʿba at Mecca). I assume they believed zamzam water to be hazardous and life threatening, hence we had to watch it being discarded infront of our eyes. Mind you all that we've actually brought zamzam water to canada before, but that day it was described to be a lethal substance but kheyr....o yes, this poets name is suheir hammad, she's a regular on def poetry jam, but this is one of my all time faves. Note her grand departure upon the completion of the poem...wicked eh (<--written for stereotypical purposes only)

imaan49

So serene....

2008-10-14T14:44:00.000-07:00

You know you're in trouble when your jokes contains nothing but bio language, and you understand everything Dr House says on tv. I think i'm beginning to live breathe an eat nursing LITERALLY!!. And what hurts the most is coming out of an exam dried eyed from having to use your tears as ink and your fellow peers come out all giddy exclaiming the exam was so easy. O yes and Why is it that every eid has to fall on an exam day, I don't get the logic behind it. I feel as though there is some sort of conspiracy and they know when eid will be. And how come York University has a holiday every other week, and at my school we don't even get a reading week. As you can see school is taking over my life, its like a hills episode, but without the glamour and money. Books are even more expensive and even vending machines have tax.
*sight* such is the life of school

o and by the way, Happy late eid to everyone, I know its very late but i was busy fighting with my immune system not to break down on me. :)
imaan49

A day in the life of a saudi part two: arabian nights

2008-09-30T19:36:00.000-07:00

As i opened my eyes i felt alot of gooo and sticky stuff on my face, i ran towards the mirror only to find red lipstick marks covering my face. So I assumed my day had begun, and infact the following days were quite similar to the first. You wake up at a time you wouldnt be waking up if you were home, an you get a sudden urge to eat all day. Ok one of many good things about saudi is the food. Now imagine this, being in a restaurant where you don't have to question the waiter if its made with pork/alcohol or whatever, its fresh, its halal an it actually tastes like food. You gain alot of weight, you know the kind of weight where you don't feel bad gaining, the little chunk of flubber you pinch in your stomach is actually a very fond memory, so i rub it at times an say happily "thats saudi". When you hear the phrase "get ready were going out!!!" it really meant, make sure you look like red carpet material under that abaya. Now don't get me wrong, we didnt dress "like a million bucks" infront of men, there are usually two entrances to a house one for the males an a seperate for the females, and seperate dining rooms, and a bigger room if both parties are comfortable being together in....o and the shoppings great

well enough of that, the major part to all this is going to mecca an medina, now when i say awesome i mean it was AWESOME. Medina is actually by far the most beautiful city i've ever seen, in the nasheed with dawud wharnsby he says "i travel through the world, but i doubt that i would see, a city with such wonder as medina", a very true statement might i add. Everything felt like a dream, an as much as i'd like to explain i doubt its possible, only because there are no words to describe that experience, if anyone would like to know, they should go an find out. Everything about saudi was just amazing, an it sucks now cuz all i have are memories, which don't seem good enough.....*sigh*

imaan49

A day in the life of a saudi..the journey part 1

2008-09-10T21:11:00.000-07:00

Asalaamu alaikum

*sigh*...since I've come back from KSA, I've been extremely miserable as if I'm an outcast in this country and I don't belong. At school I feel alienated from everyone, and my secret haven is the prayer room. Saudi was incredible an experience unlike any other. I was born and raised there and I've been back many times, but I guess this time the experience left me with a closer bond then ever, only because I had a feeling that this was the last time I'd be there, in a very long time or not at all. Because this time my reason for going was different, I wasn't as spoiled as I usually am when I go, so I got to experience KSA from a different point of view, more like from the angle of an actual saudi then a visitor. So here goes, I'll summarize my trip the whip of emotions/reactions an how I feel now. O yes if I had to compare how saudi feels like, well imagine a really big masjid, an imagine that masjid to be a home, a country for thousands of people...thats KSA

I left june 23 2008 I wasnt all that eager, because a)The flight was delayed, b)I've been there before so I assumed what I would be expecting, and c)I was in a really bad mood. So long story short, every plane we had to take to get there was delayed and/or cancelled. And no it doesnt take that many planes just to get there but because so many flights were cancelled we had to take alternate routes and even those planes were delayed so basically it was a three day journey. As you can see it started off bad already, We were extremely tired so we slept on the airport floor (literally) then continued in our journey. We got there looking like zombies, eye liner dripping down our faces, our clothes either soaked crumbled or stained. When we stepped outside it was as if a heat wave slapped our faces. Because I came with alot of people, my family including my relatives we had ALOT of luggage so we were out in the sun for a good while trying to get things together. When we arrived at the house we were soaked in sweat on top of the other disgusting things we mustve looked like. We didnt give proper salaams, which kind of appalled my grandparents and my relatives, I mean i would be angry if someone I was eagerly waiting for gave me a loose hug an walked by me...but mashallah my grandparents are darlings they understood.After the struggled greetings we dashed straight for our beds an slept like...well we slept for the hours that we missed....2 days later.

my eyes slowly drifted open and thats when it all began....to be continued

back to life...back to reality

2008-09-03T08:31:00.000-07:00

As you've guessed it, my vacation is over an we are now back in school. As miserable as I sound typing this message, it really aint so bad. But honestly I couldve sworn june was just yesterday, an I was eagerly awaiting the day I quit my job so I can leave this country, and within seconds I'm back, jobless, and have already been slapped with an assignment due next week. Well besides all that, the best part about this month is that its ramadan, and I actually like the fact that it came early in the year. Well anyways, since I just recently came back, its gonna take me awhile to get back into the habit again. I'll summarize my trip next time but until then lets sit back relax an wait for iftaar.

imaan49

in saudi

2008-07-03T16:13:00.000-07:00

So i'm vacationing now, an i havent been on this blog in a long time, pardon my spelling mistakes, the connection on this computer sucks an i dont have time to double check, so yea, i had an interesting journey here, all the flights starting from canada got delayed an it took three whole days just to get to saudi. It was torture, but the good part is all the airports gave us money to buy food, it wasnt the best food but when your hungry even water tastes soo much better. Well hmmmm the weather is pretty humid, they have wind but the wind is more like a heat wave Its like when you open an oven an alot of hot air just blows you, its exactly like that. Everyone can tell were outsiders, so buying things is difficult since they overprice us for everything. It would be easy if my arabic actually sounded like arabic but kheyr. Well when I go on a proper computer with a better connection i'll babble on some more, since thats what I do best

so peace from the middle east

imaan49

Other excitements to ponder

2008-06-20T19:45:00.001-07:00

With the exclusion of my trip to saudi, another thing that has me eagerly awaiting is the upcoming Twilight movie, made from the book Twilight by author Stephenie Meyers. This book was one of my faves, and although the plot line seems kind of cheesy when I explain it to people it is actually pretty good. One thing that had me shell shock is the choice of actors they had chosen for the movie. With the book "the kite runner" all the actors and the setting looked exactly how I imagined it to look like, except for assef the bad guy in the book. However with the movie Twilight, the main character Bella does not look like Bella to me. I dont know if this is something to complain about, but I already had my eyes open for that girl in that limony snickets movie to play Bella, because she was the perfect isabella swan in my eyes. Seriously do these people not read the books, this is just utterly disturbing, and I do not want to go to saudi with a sour mood, but movie writers if your reading this, next time.....please ask the fans for advice because it is us you want to please in the end.

thank you

imaan49

Journey to Saudi

2008-06-15T22:53:00.000-07:00

so i'm just blogging now for the sake of blogging. I've been away for awhile now because...(drum rolls) IM GOING TO SAUDI WOOHOOO!!!. So my flight leaves june 23 an I'll be gone for two months, my whole family and I'll be relaxing with the rest of dem saudi's sippin on that zam zam. I've been so busy just preparing, going shopping for gifts yada yada and just working my butt off. I'm so exhausted because there are so many things left to be done and I'm taking my precious time, as if i have time on my hands......which I don't, so don't let me fool you all. But all this stress and exhaustion will be worth it in the end especially when I do umrah with the fam...not that I am bragging and if it sounds like I'm bragging then my bad but who would be able to stop themselves from gabbing on about this.....right?

Well as much as I'm looking forward to the trip, I'm still feeling uneasy because I hate the feeling of having to "miss". I'll miss my friends, family, and especially my best friends wedding, which till now I cannot believe she set it while I'll be away. Saudi is an experience worth taking, the last time I went I felt the sense of belonging almost immediately, an the best thing about this trip now is that I'll be ready for whatever comes my way. I wasnt prepared for alot of things the last time, and I must admit the first week was just horrible, but the simplicity just took my breath away (thats when I got used to it of course). I cannot control my patience, and I'm so eager to see my grandparents again, and do umrah with all of us together just like old times. I have to remind myself that I'm only gonna sleep 6 hours everyday, I cannot waste my time there to sleep so hopefully that works out. So for now the blogging, on my part atleast, has ceased for just awhile, but I'll be back inshallah with full blown force ready to talk about the experience. I'll write when I'm there ya'll...

imaan49

Do it Right!

2008-06-05T23:21:00.000-07:00

i'm loving how there are so many more girls practising now, masha Allah it feels like another world but its still Toronto. more and more people are taking the hijab seriously and are wearing abaya's, fully long hijabs, and even socks with flats masha Allah. but what i cannot seem to understand are the girls that were orginally always practising, but don't follow the rules that they are knowingly breaking. i dont want to be judgemental don't get me wrong, but its so sad to see girls who were always wearing the hijab and are known to be good girls and "hijabi's" here in the material world, but are wearing skirts that are extremely tight or are showing their figure, or tops/shirts that show their figure and everything else, and even listen to music. its so contradicting if u really sit and think about it. i mean if there was anyone looking at the situation from an outside view they would say "do it right or Don't do it at all!" i myself sometimes fall into that trap when i do go out so i can understand it is tempting sometimes to wear that new skirt that fits just right or that new top that was on sale and u just had to get. and its so sad how we look at the kaafirs and shake our heads when we see them sporting short shorts or the tightest jeans that look painted on. but to be honest, i see no difference, our skirts are just as tight! we have to remember we are all an example regardless if we're by ourselves or in a group, the way we conduct our selves including the way we dress speaks much louder than words. ..but we gotta always remember our purpose in this world, and its not to please others, its to please Allah Subhana Wa Taa'laa and follow what has been brought down. so i guess this post was more of a heads up n a likkle reminder that we are the best of the Ummah but we have to show it as well.

Signing off, its sweet...Bittersweet007

Appalled

2008-05-29T20:19:00.000-07:00

There was an interesting "incident" that happened at my workplace yesterday, and when I was told the situation I was completely dumbfounded at the ignorance that exists at my workplace. I decided to share it with you all, and just share my anger and frustration with the people I love the most. I'm not too keen about my job, but hey a job is a job, and the only thing that I expect at any work area is respect for my deen.

So yesterday my manager called my friends into his office ( I wasnt in yesterday), to discuss a pattern he has noticed amongst the muslims in my section. He stated that we all log out of the phones at the same time, and seem to be taking the same "bathroom" breaks, I guess my friends realized right then and there that these bathroom breaks he was referring to are when we log out to go an pray our salaat. Nobody was confrontational because it couldve possibly meant that he made a mistake and misunderstood the situation, but instead he went on to say that "we abuse our break privileges", and that "if it was prayer that we want to do, we shouldve had asked for permission" he asked how many times we pray and if its necessary that we do.He even called a few other muslims into his office to see if the stories matched. I found all this very strange because from the beginning he had assigned a room especially for the muslims to go pray in and gave us permission to use it whenever we like, but when he called the muslims into his office he made it seem as though he was completely oblivious to islam. I don't understand why it was necessary for all those muslims at my workplace to get into trouble over something that we legally have the right to do. What was even more surprising is that fact that our team leader was the one who brought it to his attention, when she herself knew the reasons behind our temporary absense (which is usually five minutes tops)and she always helped us get an empty room to pray in. Apparently now were being monitored for everytime we get up, I think thats just ridiculous, I'm not too sure if the problem has been resolved, but from what I know is that he did not even apologize....
and yes my boss is a jerk, and were all looking for other jobs.....

imaan49

RED THING

2008-05-26T22:06:00.000-07:00

Have you ever got a pimple on your face and even though it’s relatively small it’s the only thing you can notice on your own face. This morning I woke up and lo and behold this red thing was looking right at me. It changes your whole persona, u start trying to cover it when people are looking at you. I mean ZITS are so annoying arrrrg. The funny part is most of the time you’re the only person who really even notices it in the first place. I was offered lunch today and this friend kept looking at me; boy oh boy did it make me feel uncomfortable. Generally speaking I hate people looking at me and it’s even worse when you have this red thing popping out at you. This leads me to my next topic what is beauty?

REALITY101

Random Rage

2008-05-26T14:13:00.000-07:00

So yea it’s my first blog and I can see I already have an image set out for me. Lets break out of that shell a little bit, the “baby” persona. Well my friends, age ain’t nothing but a number and I can definitely say that is very true. But yes so im here venting out a pet peeve of mine and it’s the constant belief that women are destined to live in the kitchen with their only utensils in life being a frying pan and a spatula. Don’t get me wrong I do believe that women should take care of their family, but to a certain degree. I mean come on, we’re all in school for a reason so I don’t see why its all of a sudden thrown away when the ring is placed on that finger. Why cant we have our careers, have our kids, and still be living happily? And yes being Somali has also given us the idea of having 13 kids as normal lol. I mean yea I guess time is something us ladies fear but for some reason out there I believe there is a happy way of living while having everything worked out. I mean why cant ur husband cook once in a while? Why can’t he take some time and clean the living room, or even set the table? So ya I guess for a first blog I look like a raging feminist but I do believe in women having a bigger role than just cooking and cleaning all day while the husband goes to work and asks for the big piece of chicken (yes, I kno all fathers/older brothers do this loool) so ladies, I say raise that spatula high with one hand and ur degree’s in the other and let it be known u have a voice that says more than “chicken or beef?”

…its Sweet….Bittersweet007…

Who are we, and what are we here for?

2008-05-22T21:36:00.001-07:00

Well we havent really figured out the purpose of this blog, we kinda started it without explaining ourselves. I keep getting comments from people asking for a proper introduction, and I've put it off till now. So here goes, basically we are two somali sistah's hailing from toronto canada. Writing is a form of therapy for us we blog to release our built up tension or just vent when we want to vent. You know at times when you see a person walking so slow infront of you they don't give you the chance to move ahead of them...it's frustrating isnt it, yea well this is where we go to discuss these "issues". We wanted to take part in this blog, write down our views for whatever it maybe and get other people's opinions on it as well. I'll try the best I can to introduce us properly.

Imaan49-that is I, I'm mostly on this only because my life is not as interesting as theirs, pathetic I know.

reality101-she goes through severe moodswings an is probably boycotting this blog as I type. she writes once in awhile and is also known as toronto's hearthrob.

so thats us, hope you all enjoy this blog an as I already mentioned in the disclaimer that the things we mention in these posts are just opinions and are not meant to offend anyone...take care for now

imaan49

Ya Allah!

2008-05-19T22:26:00.000-07:00

I think everyone goes through a point in their life where they just analyze every part of it..and think what the FACCK? its usually when shit happens…and you just ask yourself questions like..What are we living on this earth for? To worship allah right? So why is it so hard…there are so many trials and tribulations that we go through....Sometimes I think honestly that this is all some long dream about our lives and we’re going to wake up and be reunited with Allah…if only it was that easy…unfortunetly its not..and we have to work to go to heaven..Sometimes I wake up feeling so inadequate and im like…im not really certain about any other part of my life..but one thing I am certain about is Islam..i know it is the right path..I know that one day I want to be in heaven..i know that one day I want to be reunited with my dad..i know that one day I want to meet the Al-mighty creator..…that’s all I really want from this life..but its hard when u get side tracked by this life..and its complications…Its hard when you’re heartbroken and u hear some slow track and u feel like you could relate to it, instead of reading quran or making dua to Allah, Its hard when everyone around you is having fun and you’re not..because you’re tryna better yourself, its hard when we live in a country filled with fitna, to the point that some things are not even frowned upon anymore only because everyone is doing it…its hard not knowing when you’re going to die and it can happen any second..point blank: this life is hard! But I guess the only way we can get through it without going crazy is if we keep reminding ourselves that one day this will all be over, and if u were a good muslim on this earth you will be rewarded in the hereafter and you will be basking in allahs glory for all eternity. So either live it up in this world {on the edge cuz you never know when its going to end}…or live by the quran and sunnah and be patient. And you will be in heaven for the rest of your life…that’s what it really comes down to…

-May Allah Guide us on the Right Path-
Heavenly

GRAB AND GO

2008-05-16T13:31:00.000-07:00

I had a very enlightening discussion with a friend of mine recently which provoked some thought in my brain. That doesn’t happen too often so I felt the need to share it or for lack of better words express myself. “There are very few man left, so you got to keep what you have and if you don’t have one you better settle for less” is something similar to what my friend blabbered. I obviously can’t remember the exact wording of that because I clearly have a life but I think you get the point of what I’m saying. I actually don’t believe it’s come to the stage where a girl must grab and go. I mean it’s a long life commitment at the end of the day, not a pair of shoes you’re planning on buying. No refund no exchange. Besides if you think about it, even if the men are decreasing in size you still must fret because if your not wife number 1, just behave yourself and you could be wife number 2. Being wife number two also has its benefits, or so I’ve told myself. Having wife two status, means that wife 1 wasn’t cutting it, so he had to get himself another 1. What I also noticed is that divorced single mothers are very high in demand. Maybe that’s the route we should all be taking ladies, hook the bait, get pregnant and ditch him so you can find that price charming of yours. Let’s examine the benefits of this; she gets money from the government for that kid, she is probably now on welfare plus government house as well, and she isn’t really expecting much. What exactly does that translate to, it’s a free living expense.. GET ON IT… don’t settle for more settle for less ladies

Reality101

Bollywood Fantasies

2008-05-13T23:43:00.000-07:00

Well serendipity was on the other day, an I couldn’t help but torment my soul to watch it yet again. It makes me devastated when I watch these types of movies. Its my reason to shed just a few tears, but despite the pain it causes it is pretty tempting. These chick flicks do us females no good, it just makes you list all your insecurities in the back of your mind, an wonder “why don’t I have that Corey and Topanga type love?”. I don’t know the answer to that question, and of course movie writers knowing the majority of the audience are females purposely script the movie to make the guy get the girl. Can someone please script my story!!!, well the movie finally ended with them being together (obviously), an even after watching it SEVERAL times, I watch it as though I have never watched it before. Still shedding my tears as if the predictable story line is oblivious to me….

Imaan49

The Hollywood Life

2008-05-12T16:05:00.000-07:00

It sucks to say that I do not have a life like the hills, and I’m glad because my typical day (if I were on a reality show) would involve most of my time doing nothing but a) in front of the computer, b) in front of the fridge, c) watching TV, and d) talking on the phone. That’s my Hollywood life people, nothing but penniless relaxation, I don’t get room service but if I yell loud enough I can get my youngest sister to bring my food to my room (bribes are included). I have an abundant supply of bananas, rice, hilib, an basto. I don’t strut around in fancy lounges; I strut around covered in jewels with the finest Diracs, in the finest halls in Toronto with nothing but the finest people. Yup that’s the life, the Somali life is the Hollywood life.

p.s gotta get some white fudge brownies for someone

imaan49

JUST PATHETIC

2008-05-11T18:22:00.000-07:00

I’ve been mia of late but I’m back. This isn’t going to be a very meaningful post because I don’t see meaning in a lot of things. Call me depressed, call me a pessimist but many things are really just pointless. I know this is a blog and I’m supposed to rant about some topic but right now I just want to vent. Human beings just suck; I hate everyone, and everything (except for some white fudge brownie). So anyone who brings me a white fudge brownie is good in my books…

SOMEONE THATS WHO

Cycle of torture

2008-05-06T23:20:00.000-07:00

School is finally done, and blissful times have finally come, and “life” aka stress is temporarily put on hold. Well a different kind of stress, you know the kind of stress where you basically try to kill urself for a good grade, an sacrifice sleep, hunger thirst for a future that may never make you rich. That stress is put on hold, an now the mutated version is soon arriving, you know the kind where you practically kill yourself, sacrifice sleep, hunger an thirst to make enough inorder to pay towards that “future” that may never make you rich to begin with. But whose complaining right, no matter what challenges come our way this cycle that we seem to go through is something that we crave for, ok maybe not everyone but I do. Even if money is not involved I can vouch for everyone (please agree with me on this) that the bragging rights to a degree is just as satisfying. Ok maybe not completely, I’m just tryna prove my theory here, an I decided since I haven’t posted anything in a while the time is now to share my theories with you.
I know I’m a nerd everything I talk about has to do with school an that sort, but whatever nerds are cool, an I shall end this by saying POWER TO THE NERDS

Respectively, (<--don’t know if that makes sense but it looks so professional)

Imaan49

lets rewind

2008-04-28T22:23:00.000-07:00

You know, at times I feel like it was just yesterday I was in grade school, running away from dem boys before they gave me the coodies, or when candy was much more important than money. I remember running home from school just to catch an episode of the power rangers (yellow ranger was the best HANDS DOWN). Or the many times we dropped water balloons on the eighth floor of the 370 building in dixon, or when all the kids knew each other and our moms used to hang out at one persons house each night. I remember that steep road at the back of one building where we would dare each other to ride our bikes down an eventually it was just for fun. Another memory is when I would say every excuse in the book to my parents just so they can get me out of macalin samo’s duksi, or tryna sneak to the playground or the swimming pool before any somali lady see's me an threatens to tell my mother if she catches me going in the pool again…. We never argued back then about nothing, we usually picked on a kid every now an then, but it was all good, eventually we were all friends…..12 years later…tell me why is it that I’m soo obsessed in growing my hair as long as Nicole scherzingers, or why I panic when I miss an episode of the hills (not that I watch the hills but you get my point). Why is it one arguement grows into a grudge then gossip then hate an more hate. Or that I and the rest of us are juggling school, work, and just life in general….Man if only I can go back in time to those careless moments when everything was just stupid fun, so here is a clip of a precious memory I have of “back then”. I don’t care if you guys think its cheesy cuz I know DAMN WELL you all know the words to this song...

imaan49 signing off yet again

The Preachers Wife

2008-04-27T15:24:00.001-07:00

To start off i'd like to announce that one of my good friends has tied the knot... YUP no more checking out other fellas it's a wrap..... She has entered the life of cooking and cleaning and cooking and cleaning no wait i think i just mentioned that. Honestly though that's pretty much what we do anyway so what the hell might as well keep doing it right. All jokes a side it was a wonderful day she was a blushing bride with her hair swept to the side. It almost brought tears to my eyes when he came down the aisle or should i say the runway( because Somalis as usual like to drown the groom and make him that much more nervous than he was) and took a glimpse of her.... utterly beautiful.. May God make it a blessed marriage and everything she wanted it to be and more...Okay although i try and write at least once a day I'll tell you right off the bat that that's not going to happen. I barely have enough me time and when i do i rather just cotch in my bed with a good book. Anywho let me start where i left off, i hate people who preach and don't follow. Simple example would be like when mothers say you talk on the phone to much... And clearly who talks more than a full blown Somali mother..NOOOOOOOOOOOOBODY... I mean yes we as Somali females are destined to become just like them but it's funny how oblivious they are of themselves. That was utterly just a random example however, because i barely actually talk on the phone unless I'm surfing the net or sadly at work. What about the mothers that take their children to dugsi and put a hijab on for their kids and they themselves don't do any of the above pretty hypocritical eh.... I kind of understand that the point is that they want their children to be better people then they are and my mom as well tries a few of those things herself but the best example is doing it yourself i believe. The point i'm making here is not really about mothers its about everything in general if you are going to tell someone about something make sure you don't do it yourself.....PEACE In YEMEN

signing off reality101

the ditzy an the brain.....one is a genius the others insane

2008-04-24T00:26:00.000-07:00

so here's the deal, they say sometimes in life you got to scam, lie, cheat to get on top, I say in life you got to kick upwards to make the ones above you fall down. Nevertheless I’m not gonna lie an say that the above sentence before the comma aint true, it is actually to some extent. At times you have to do something “negative” to find the answer, in this case that’s exactly what I did….I kinda peaked into someones blackbook (lets call him tom). I mean it was for scientific reasons I assure you all. We wanted to find the direct correlation between the mind of a male and his playa ways. Well to burst your bubbles we did not find the answer to that specific question but we did have a hell of a lot of fun reading the convo's he had with his chicks. I mean I did feel bad but that feeling didn’t really last that long. This “friend” was a well known character amongst the female population, and it was to my advantage to learn that he was a deceitful charmer, although his life belongs to him, I know secrets of men that I shall cherish with me till my dieing day. ( to know this secret email me at secretstomen@hotmail.com) One thing that I noticed about these chicks are that they throw themselves on this particular guy, sure this dude is disgustingly handsome, sure his smile just makes you melt…but these chicks “suddenly” have the need to preach. I read in astonishment the trials and tribulations of women an the things they put up with. My friends and I laugh thinking what ditzy girls, you cant get him like that, o she’s doing it all wrong poor girl, it was clear they were “body throwers” ( a term used to define females that tend to throw themselves at male objects), an soon we realized we are all just like them. So there you have it world, women are just pathetic (including I).

...signing off imaan49

REALITY

2008-04-22T11:06:00.000-07:00

Today is Tuesday April 22 and a mighty beautiful day outside. The sun is shining bright and the breeze is refreshing. I haven't actually stepped outside as of yet and i clearly don't intend to until the sun disappears and is nowhere to be found. The sun is nice to look at from afar but when you're wearing black and you are covered from head to toe let's just say you prefer the indoors, air condition is also a plus. I mean i don't have to wear black but its my preference because its slimming duh... no i just like it because its convenient non flashy and well i can wear just about any color headscarf to match it.... Moving along i had a wonderful night last night, minus the fact i forget to say i love you to my significant other, or wait do i even have a significan other but besides that it was dandy. I was rudely awakened by my brat of a sister who needed to be fed which put an abrupt halt to my dream. I finally set a date for my wedding, its Jan 29 of 2010 and yes you are all invited everyone of you. Sad part is my partner in crime doesn't know about it.....On that note i just wanted to add .....One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don't practice what they preach, i know its kinda random but i shall elaborate a bit more with my next post... ta ta FOR NOW

and this is reality101 signing off

Disclaimer

2008-04-18T21:09:00.001-07:00

an·ti·dote
–noun: An agent used to neutralize or counteract the effects of a poison.

or our definition: A remedy to prevent the deterioration of braincells (this is just our definition, do not quote us on this!!)